by Mike Rosen
I’m about halfway through the audiobook version of Matthew Quick’s memoir titled ‘Dad, Love, Me.’ You may recognize the author as he wrote ‘Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into a popular movie starring Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. When I first read the title it reminded me of another book that came out a while back called Eats, Shoots & Leaves which isn’t a memoir but a 2003 bestselling book by Lynne Truss, humorously addressing the importance of punctuation and the author’s judgement that society has become a bit too lax around comma and apostrophe usage. A woman after my own heart, I tell you.
The book by Matthew Quick is written as a letter from the author to his Dad and is funny, sad, heartbreaking, and insightful. He has been interviewed twice by Men Living’s own Chris Lozier and Shaun Emerson on their podcast, I invite you to listen if you haven’t already. MenLiving is also hosting a meeting with him on Monday, September 14th, 6:30 PM Central. You can RSVP here. Without spoiling the content or the ending, there’s a part of the book where the author tells a story where his Dad profoundly disappoints him, one of many, many incidents when in the author’s judgement his Dad not only failed to show up in the moment, he was abjectly cruel.
The author wondered why his father failed to meet his very basic expectations of a Father/Son dynamic. With the benefit of time and hundreds of hours of Jungian analysis , he reached a conclusion that his Dad couldn’t give what his Dad didn’t possess–kindness, thoughtfulness, love, and empathy. A lot of the examples the author provides resonate with my experience with my Dad. He’s woven through me, for better and for worse. He’s part of my DNA and how does that show up, consciously or unconsciously?
My Dad passed away in February of 2025 and this book is providing what I might judge as a healthy glimpse in my rearview mirror, specifically around the way I remember and figuratively hold my Dad. What’s your Father story? How does he show up in you or for you? What are your blind spots around that story? I invite you to reflect and share, check out the podcast, read or listen to the book, and join us Monday the 14th for what I’m sure will be an insightful and interesting night. Perhaps if your Dad is still with us he’d like to join?
