Stories & podcast · on
topic 569094
Stories from the men who facilitate and attend these circles, on topic 569094.
77 stories
The Courage to Repair
relationships inevitably experience rupture. misunderstandings happen. voices get sharper than we intended. we become defensive. we shut down. we miss each other. distance appears. many people assume that healthy…
Gratitude for America
As we approach America’s 250th birthday, I’m seeing increasingly more buildup around it; t-shirts, social media posts, highway billboards, commemorative beer cans, etc. It’s nice to see in the sense that this is…
Boat Men and Robin
“It’s a life.” Myles said it from halfway up a tree overhanging a creek while I stood ankle-deep in mud below. A few minutes earlier, we had been enjoying a leisurely Saturday morning kayak trip. Now we were trying to…
Curbside Conversations
I am sitting in the “Teacher’s Room” at the Lalit Hotel in London, sipping a Negroni and contemplating Naresh Kapuria’s In Conversation (seen above). The Lalit was once St. Olave’s Grammar School. The “Teacher’s Room”…
Hat, Haircut, or Leaky Roof?
Reinhold Niehbur. Does that name ring a bell or mean anything to you? Reinhold is widely credited as the author of the Serenity Prayer. He graduated from Elmhurst University (then Elmhurst College) in 1910. Like…
How to Lose With Pride – Family Edition
I was driving my only son (he has three sisters) to his first day of high school. He was 14, demoted from the top of the totem pole in middle school to the bottom of the pole in high school. He seemed nervous, as anyone…
Does Everything Have to be a Controversy?
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I had to work for part of the day and to be frank, I really wasn’t too jazzed with the matchup. I thought both teams had compelling stories – the Patriots comeback in the post-Tom Brady…
Forward Together…Not One Step Back
I was enough of a science geek in high school to be fascinated by the reality that mathematically adding a circle a straight line makes a spiral. With the cycle of the year, and the progression of our lives, a spiral…
Home as a Practice, Not a Place
for many of us, this stretch of the year brings us back to the basics: connection, gratitude, and what truly matters. as the season of gathering takes shape, i want to offer an invitation to turn toward home — not only…
Wagers
Last year, online gaming giants FanDuel and DraftKings pulled in nearly $19 billion in combined revenue. Conservative estimates say they’ll grow another 30% in 2025. Meanwhile, prediction market apps like Kalshi and…
Sensitive, Not Fragile: The Space Between Feeling and Reaction
There are times when I feel like I was born with my volume knob turned up too high. It’s not just my voice that expresses the volume of my life. It’s my energy, my emotions, and my need to connect. I feel things deeply…
¿Por Queue No?
Many of you know that my fiancée and I are spending most of our time traveling between now and next May. In fact, this newsletter post comes to you from the midst of a 300kph, barely 3-hour TGV journey directly from…
In the Zone
Growing up in Chicago in the 80’s and 90’s, it was really hard to escape Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls. As the team got better around him and they started winning consecutive championships starting in 1991,…
I’m an Emotional Man, but am I Emotionally Available?
As I sit here today, I am an openly and unabashedly emotional man. While I have always been emotional, even since my early childhood, it wasn’t until I was in my 40s that I became more comfortable being openly…
Having a Blast: A Road Trip Story
Hitting the road, having a damn good time, learning about myself, others, and this wild mystery called life. I love traveling—really love it. Doesn’t matter if I’m walking, flying, sailing, riding the rails, or in the…
SOMETIMES IT’S TIME!
Sometimes it’s time. Sometimes it’s time Sometimes it’s time it’s time to go take a look, look off the cliff, look into the abyss see what there is to be seen sometimes it’s time. Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go take a…
The Granny Shot
Growing up in Bostonland in the 1970s, I was a rabid Celtics fan (still am—though a little less since Larry retired!). Lately, I’ve been watching Celtic City , the Max documentary on the history of the franchise. The…
How to Have a Meaningful Conversation
Lately, I’ve been thinking about what makes a conversation truly meaningful. Then I stumbled across a TED Talk called “ 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation” by Celeste Headlee, and it pretty much summed up everything…
Carry the Best of Me
Writing this blog is fun, and challenging too. How can I economize words? How can I fully communicate, share, and convey something reasonably relevant and mildly interesting to the MenLiving audience in as few words as…
Slow Down, Slow the Fuck Down
I’m getting out the soapbox so I can do a little preaching… So often, I want to yell at somebody, “Slow down!” And I’m not talking about getting cut off in traffic; I’m talking about slowing the fuck down. There are…
Lighten Up, Man!
As I reflect on my past blog posts written for MenLiving, I’m aware of how serious and dark many of them are. My only defense to this accurate charge is that the world, at times, feels serious and dark. Change is afoot…
You’re Too Close to the Edge
“I wonder what would happen if I jumped? ” Standing on a cliff, 80 feet above jagged rocks jutting out of the ocean, the answer seemed obvious: a searing jolt of pain, followed swiftly by a meeting with my maker—or, in…
Recognizing & Communicating Your Needs
This week, let’s talk about your needs. Why? Because understanding and communicating your needs is essential for building healthy, connected relationships – something we are very interested in here at MenLiving. But…
You Know What Your Problem Is … Advertising
You know what your problem is…you’re a B210 We know that advertising works in our society. Sales for Doritos tend to go up 10%+ following their Super Bowl ads, Chevy dealerships see a spike the week after a NASCAR win,…
Master, Master
Growing up there was a kid in my neighborhood who was a huge Metallica fan, I wasn’t. Our house was more Willie Nelson, John Denver, Kenny Rogers, and Neil Diamond. You get the idea, a tad softer. They (both the kid and…
You know what your problem is…Answering Back
They say there are three surefire ways to start a fight: talk politics, bring up religion, or ask about someone’s salary. So let’s talk politics. Like many of you, I’m excited for this election to be over. Let’s get our…
You Know What Your Problem Is … Apathy
After what seems like an eternity, you’ve finally landed the meeting. The hours spent rehearsing your pitch, anticipating every possible question, and crafting responses designed to impress have all led to this moment.…
Right but Dead
That’s me on my brand-new 1978 Schwinn Sting Ray, my 7th birthday. It was the first bike that was MINE mine, not a hand-me-down from either of my older siblings. This gift would change my life in ways the young mind in…
Stop Settling
Settle: to accept or agree to something that one considers to be less than satisfactory. Settling is one of those words many of us choose to avoid. It’s the proverbial monster under the bed, the name that must not be…
Heat and Shadows
With Labor Day comes the unofficial end of summer and beginning of fall. As the month of September transitions us in the northern hemisphere to longer nights and shorter days, there aretwo things you can count on. One,…
Richard Renaldi….Disturbed Harmonies
From Artist Richard Renaldi about his collection, Disturbed Harmonies: Men are troubled across this troubled Earth. Economic and political power have failed to assuage their anxiety. Physical strength offers only the…
Man vs. Machine Round #1: The Dehumanization of Writing
Do you remember the voice that shattered the glass goblet? Back when I was a young boy growing up in metro Detroit in the early 1970s, jazz legend Ella Fitzgerald famously became the spokeswoman for Memorex audio…
The Rattlesnakes that Stalk Me
A couple of months ago, I went out hiking on my favorite trail in Palm Springs, the Museum Trail. I’ve taken this trek dozens of times over the last five years. On most of these hikes, I ascend for about 45 minutes and…
PDNA & FOCUS
Do you know people who like to putz? You know the type: a person who procrastinates, starts but rarely finishes projects, is indecisive, avoids any commitment, is easily distracted, and fairly unorganized. This is the…
The Unpredictability of Life
One of the things I’m working harder at appreciating is the unpredictability of life. It seems every time I feel like I have a handle on life, how it works, and what it all means, I get thrown for a loop with some sort…
Malort Over Manhattans
What are your salary expectations? If you are like many, this question from a recruiter immediately triggers you to go into lockdown mode – retreat, clench, protect, defend, clench some more. You view the question as…
Be One.
I find this quote thought-provoking: “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” While the message itself is inspiring, it depresses me that it was made around 1,900 years ago by Marcus…
Don’t Settle For Dirty Bath Water
I often wonder if a lack of imagination and fear are two sides of the same coin. Soon after we had our fourth child, my wife and I faced the challenging decision of whether to move to a larger house or renovate our…
Change Agent
Every two years in the town I live in, the city conducts “Amnesty Day’, an opportunity for residents to throw away as much stuff as they want. It’s a bit of a mini-holiday for all of us as it resembles a city-wide flea…
America is Guilty
Last week, former President Donald J. Trump was convicted in a New York court for crimes related to the 2016 election and the paying of hush money to a porn star. No matter where you fit on the political spectrum, my…
The Look
Back in 2005, a company called CI Host offered to pay individuals to tattoo their foreheads with the company’s logo in exchange for a lifetime hosting package for their website. Several people accepted the offer,…
Ghosting
There are some terrible recruiters out there. Which isn’t stating a whole lot because there are also awful CEOS, incompetent sales managers, and unfriendly workers at the DMV. I think the area where recruiters take the…
Skating on Thin Ice
The Chase For the Cup It’s that time of year again! This past Sunday marked the beginning of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which for my money is still the best sports tournament on the planet. Teams that advanced to the Cup…
My Mind Is Blank
Sometimes I have so much to say that I scare myself on just how much I can talk. And other times, not so much. About every four weeks, I am given the opportunity to write the weekly blog post for MenLiving, an…
Is your resume a “singing holiday tie?”
As a recruiter, opening a candidate’s resume feels like a mini-Christmas morning to me. There’s a bubbling excitement and anticipation as I click on the PDF icon. Will this be the amazing gift I was looking for? Will it…
Check, Please with Mike Rosen
Quick. Without pause, answer this question with a Yes or No. Are you healthy? Hmmm. What did you answer? It’s not really an easy or fair question to answer straight away. My answer is “Yes (for the most part. I think?)”…
You let others think for you
I had an interesting exchange recently with a candidate who was preparing for an interview. A portion of our conversation went something like this: Candidate: Dan how do I answer the question “What is my biggest…
Traveling to Another World
I’m a bit of a political junkie. I recall it was back in college when I first started enjoying politics. I enjoyed understanding how our government worked (or tried to work), as well as the strategy the parties employed…
Do the work!
So………. I have been debating whether to post about what was going on for a few days this week. On the one hand I feel reluctant, on the other keen to share. Reluctant? Yeah! I talk and do stuff I dont hear anyone else…
The Unbidden Guest
At last, the evening came. The table was set, the candles were lit, and the air was blessed with the aroma of beef. As I did every December, I invited all my Attitudes, Memories, and Emotions to dinner. Seated together…
What Rules Are You Playing By?
If I were to ask you – for the men reading this – “Do your friendships with other guys satisfy you?” I’m guessing you might say “yes”, and I can understand why you respond that way. You have somebody to have a beer…
The Answer?
When my kids were young (they are now 28, 27, and 23), I would lose my mind when they would say to me, “I can’t.” I can’t ride a bike. I can’t do the math. I can’t parallel park….etc, etc, etc. Each of them is of able…
Reciprocity
A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with Michael Pealow, a social innovation consultant working with Indigenous men in the Yukon. He shared with me that he subscribes to a “mind model” that views…
All the Light I Need
In his latest Monster Whisperer video, Jimmy Talarico introduces one of his art pieces, entitled “All the Light I Need,” to make a point about moving out of the darkness and into the light. I was immediately attracted…
The Clock (s) Are Ticking.
“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” Stephen Vincent Benet I find our culture’s “end of year” energy interesting. The mass media has…
Life is Full of Challengeable Moments???
The National Football League has a rule called the Coaches’ Challenge. The Challenge works as follows: In each game, a team will be permitted two challenges that will initiate Instant Replay reviews. The Head Coach will…
Men Leaning In
I was on the phone with some buddies the other day- 3 days after the historic overturn of Roe V Wade. Although I found myself thinking quite a bit over the SCOTUS decision, we did not talk about it. Instead, the…
Ramadan
Author: Mouhsine Adnani At MenLiving, we value curiosity and a desire to better understand the perspectives and cultures of other human beings. We are currently in the middle of Ramadan, and in the spirit of better…
A Shocking Revelation
Check out this study from 2014… Researchers at University of Virginia and Harvard University ran a series of 11 studies and found that participants from a range of ages generally did not enjoy spending even brief…
Metaverse, Shmetaverse
This picture above is of me. Rather, my Bitmoji. I hope you’ll recognize me in case we meet up in the “metaverse.” Have you been reading about the metaverse? It is a term first coined by Neal Stephenson in his novel “…
A Radical Blog Post
Radical New Paradigm. Radical Candor. Radical Acceptance. Radical Friendship. Radical Parenting. Radical Transparency. Radical Masculinity. Radical Rest (Huh??). These noun phrases are just a small sample of what seems…
hot sauce on ice cream
I like hot sauce / spicy stuff, and I’ve historically felt constrained by just whether or not the thing is “already spicy”. I’ve been getting joy lately by figuring out how to make my food spicy, whether it was intended…
Last Week in Texas
When I heard the news last week about the law that passed in Texas, I said to myself “That’s wrong and I wish that law didn’t pass.” I then went on with the rest of my day without giving it much more thought. In other…
Traffic
I drove to Detroit yesterday to meet with some customers, and while on I94 East, I ran into a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. Teeth clenched… Grrrrr. Cue the inner dialogue: What’s going on up there? Where are all these…
If only people would behave the way I want them to…
I recently had a conversation with a member of our Executive Team at work regarding the transition of fully remote, work from home to working back in the office. Of course, as things begin to open up here in Illinois…
WHY?
Thankfully, my thirst for and commitment to learning never ceases. By now, I sometimes wish I were further along in my knowledge and understanding but I guess we all learn at a different pace and in our own way. Take…
There’s this dance…
There’s this dance of BEing in the present moment AND creating your future. Oh this dance can be a graceful waltz or a rough krump battle. It can be carefully choreographed or made up on the spot and improvised. How to…
Spiritual Bypass or Letting Go
Over the last couple of weeks, it has been suggested to me that I may be a “spiritual bypasser.” Do you know this term? From Wikipedia, “ Spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and…
Zoom or not to Zoom
As of yesterday, 92M Americans had been vaccinated. The new President has stated that there will be enough vaccinations for every American by the end of May. Cubs and Sox will let fans in the parks. I am getting a…
Forward!
I found my answer when I was thumbing through Walden by Thoreau the other day. I’d been working through a couple of weeks of being in some sort of a “funk”. This somber tone edging up to a low-grade depressed state.…
Bow…then clean your closet
Often, there’s a tape playing inside my head that says, “You’re not doing enough.” This tape can continually run if I don’t stop and bring my awareness to it. Sometimes I’ll catch myself in these moments and either…
“Don’t Know” Mind
I am creating this post on Tuesday afternoon prior to polls closing. I was going to write about men’s health, but figured it would be a little numb not to share something that is born from an election that is so…
You know what assuming does…
As I was finishing up a run in the forest preserve yesterday I noticed an older woman walking with 2 plastic bags towards the woods. Wait, is that my neighbor from across the street? She was a ways away from me but it…
Beauty or Utility?
After I’m done with the workday, I generally go out for a stroll through the neighborhood to unwind, get some fresh air and move my bones. One of the things I enjoy doing on these walks is to check out how people choose…
Cry, of course!
This past Saturday, to open up our Board of Directors’ meeting for MenLiving, we checked-in with naming a man or men that inspire us or is part of the “why” we do this work. It happened to be a rather impromptu…
Artistry and Play
Do you consider yourself an artist? What is the first type of art that you hold yourself up against when trying to answer that question? Or, did you immediately answer “no” ? If I weren’t asking the questions here, I…
Cubs- All The Way?
Let’s get one thing straight- I am a White Sox fan. But on the eve of this Wildcard playoff game between the Cubs and the Pirates, I am 100% rooting for the North-siders. I have never subscribed to the idea that in…
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