Matthew Quick...Radical Acts of Love — episode artwork

If You've Come This Far

Matthew Quick...Radical Acts of LoveExplicit

with Shaun Emerson & Chris Lozier

S5 · E151 hr 8 min

Episode notes

Matthew Quick returns to If You've Come This Far for his second appearance on the show to discuss his new memoir, Dad, Love, Me. In a raw conversation, Matthew opens up about his father’s battle with dementia, his own journey through sobriety, and the grueling but beautiful process of Jungian analysis. Offering an unfiltered look at generational trauma, he discusses the courageous choice to love a parent exactly as they are, without demanding they earn it. Pragmatic and deeply moving, this episode explores the profound impact of showing up, making peace with the past, and creating new narratives for the future.

Highlights:

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  • Defining love as a choice to embrace someone in the present moment without needing them to earn it, particularly in the face of dementia.
  • Breaking the cycle of father-son violence by making a conscious decision not to pass on inherited trauma to the next generation.
  • The healing power of Jungian analysis and the importance of experiencing positive, altruistic male friendships.
  • The difficult reality of writing a vulnerable memoir without family support and dealing with the tradition of secrecy in traumatized families.
  • The feminization of reading and the critical need for older men to mentor younger men and guide them back to literature.

Resources:

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4 in 5
U.S. suicide deaths are men — a rate nearly four times higher than women’s. CDC, 2023
15%
of men say they have no close friends — five times more than in 1990. Survey Center on American Life, 2021