by Frank Tirado
When I first found MenLiving, my very first meeting was on a Wednesday night with Todd Adams facilitating. I still remember what I shared back then: “I’m here to heal my relationship with myself, step into my masculine energy, and learn.”
After attending virtual Zoom meetings for several months, one January—about three years ago now—I took the leap and attended one of our “Advances” (weekend retreats). Seeing the leadership of our organization made a huge impression on me. It was clear they had done the deep inner work; just being in their presence brought a sense of groundedness, calm, and an inviting energy that made you want to simply listen and absorb everything. From that moment on, I knew I wanted to be a part of this community. It has been a gradual journey of building trust and learning to work together as a team.
For those who don’t know me, I am from Venezuela and have lived in the United States as a refugee for the past 10 years. I was in the political asylum process—working legally with a permit and Social Security number, paying my taxes, and always doing my best to live in peace and respect the law. For years, I waited for my permanent residency interview with the immigration court, but the call never came. Unfortunately, the system is completely overwhelmed.
Then came the ICE operations and raids. Fortunately, I’ve never personally experienced a situation of that magnitude, but then I received a notice from my health insurance broker stating that next year I would no longer be eligible for the health insurance marketplace or government benefits in this beautiful nation. On top of that, I’m facing a serious, uncertain health diagnosis regarding my prostate—and as a side note, if you are 40 or older, it’s time to check with the urologist..
Because of all this, I made the voluntary decision to leave the United States and return to Venezuela, with plans to process a new visa to reunite with my family in Spain. There, I can receive the support and care I need, along with a healthcare system I can actually understand (I’ll admit, I never quite figured out the healthcare system here!).
Rather than feeling anger or resentment about having to leave, I feel it’s better to walk away with dignity before being pushed out the back door.
Above all, I hold a deep gratitude for this great nation—God bless America. What I take with me from MenLiving is an incredible experience and the comfort of knowing I have true friends who will always be there for me. When I talked to Todd Adams, he told me verbatim: “Wherever you are, MenLiving will be there, because you are part of us.” I’m choosing to view this geographic relocation as a strategic move guided by God and the Universe to expand our footprint beyond the United States.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives and your stories. Thank you for teaching me how to connect with other men from the heart, how to practice empathy and reflective listening, how to explore masculine archetypes, and how to cultivate compassion and healing—because when we listen to another man, we are listening to ourselves. I fully intend to keep hosting Spanish-language Zoom meetings and connecting in person wherever I end up.
I care about you all deeply, and I will be forever grateful for your warmth and brotherhood. I hope to return to this country one day under better circumstances, when the time is right.
Hello Todd, here are my lines for our blog, Thank you so much….
Frank J. Tirado Facilitator and Board Member for the Hispanic Community
