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BlogMasculinityMen's Health
Jaw-Dropping
March 22, 2023A few months back, I wrote a post called “Short King or Daddy Long Legs” that explored the practice of leg lengthening by men. A ghastly and painful exercise just to get a few inches taller. Well, as a man…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Checking with Mr Nice Guy
March 15, 2023I met Aditya Ganjoo for the first time last Saturday morning at a Full House meeting. For him, it was 9:30PM local time in New Delhi and he was attending his first ML event. He engaged with authenticity and vulnerability.…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Welcome, Pain.
March 7, 2023Community Member, Martin McLeish, shares his experiences participating in the Self-Compassion Small Batch. The ice exercise he references at the beginning of the piece requires the participant to hold a piece of ice until the pain becomes unbearable and then invites…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Reciprocity
March 1, 2023A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with Michael Pealow, a social innovation consultant working with Indigenous men in the Yukon. He shared with me that he subscribes to a “mind model” that views everything as energy,…
BlogMasculinitySocial Issues
Why Boys Stop Reading?
February 22, 2023Writer, Matt Haig, posted this piece on his Instagram. I wanted to share his interesting data and perspective. Thoughts? At age 11, most boys enjoy reading. By 14 that drops from 65% to 32%. In other words, we lose half…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Purpose?
February 15, 2023Over the last week, I have found myself in multiple conversations about purpose. First, Chris Lozier and I interviewed Nico Lagan for an upcoming episode of our podcast, If You’ve Come This Far. Nico is “a men's coach, an entrepreneur,…
BlogMasculinity
Macho, Macho Man
February 8, 2023A couple of days ago, my friend, Chris, and I were talking about the construction industry. I had recently learned that our friend, Paul Sullivan, Founder of Company of Dads, had been interviewed on the “Mothers in Construction” podcast. An…
BlogMen's Health
Meet Guy Fitzgerald
February 1, 2023Starting today, we will be adding a Healthy Tip of The Week to our weekly email. Given our vision of a world of healthy, intentional, connected men, we thought it was appropriate to talk about health (physical and mental) on…
BlogLiving Intentionally
All the Light I Need
January 25, 2023In his latest Monster Whisperer video, Jimmy Talarico introduces one of his art pieces, entitled “All the Light I Need,” to make a point about moving out of the darkness and into the light. I was immediately attracted to this…
BlogMasculinity
Jobs Wanted
January 18, 2023On Tuesday’s episode of Zen Parenting Radio, a podcast cohosted by our Executive Director, Todd Adams and his wife, Cathy, the Adams talked about her mom’s recent passing (Judy Cassani passed away on January 9th…Condolences, Cathy 🙏). During the discussion,…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
Sexual Creative Energy
January 11, 2023I am a big fan of Conscious Leadership Group (CLG). CLG is run by Jim Dethmer (you can listen to Jim on our podcast here) and Diana Chapman. MenLiving’s 5 Suggestions are influenced by the work of CLG. One of…
BlogLiving IntentionallyPersonal Growth
Top 5
January 4, 2023My good friend, Tommy Skelly, will often proclaim that some thing or event is in his "Top 5." For example, Top 5 Root Beer Floats, Top 5 Golf Courses, Top 5 Bus Rides, or Top 5 Showers (for pressure). So…
BlogLiving Intentionally
The Clock (s) Are Ticking.
December 28, 2022“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” Stephen Vincent Benet I find our culture’s “end of year” energy interesting. The mass media has…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Loving
December 21, 2022I just completed Matthew Quick’s new novel, We Are The Light (WATL), in preparation for our interview with him for our podcast, If You’ve Come This Far. You might know Matthew as the author of The Silver Linings Playbook, an…
BlogMasculinitySocial Issues
Good, Good, Good?
December 14, 2022I subscribe to the good good good newspaper. According to their website, Good Good Good is the media company that helps you feel more hopeful and do more good. I am all in on feeling more hopeful and having more…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Life is Full of Challengeable Moments???
November 30, 2022The National Football League has a rule called the Coaches’ Challenge. The Challenge works as follows: In each game, a team will be permitted two challenges that will initiate Instant Replay reviews. The Head Coach will initiate a challenge by…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Holly…A Love Story
November 30, 2022Community Member, Martin McLeish, shares a story of struggle, love and living in the moment. November 1987 “Fuck it”, I said. I had had enough. I was the explosives guy at the Silver lake Mine in the Kalgoorlie area. This…
BlogConnection
Better Than A Gratitude Rock
November 23, 2022On this day before Thanksgiving, I am thinking I suppose appropriately about gratitude. But I am thinking about it in a little more twisted way than you might expect. In the information diet that I choose to consume, I see…
BlogSocial Issues
My One for the World Story
November 23, 2022I’m a senior in college, living in Durango, Colorado, and grew up in a nice suburb of Chicago. I have a loving family, I’ve always had a warm bed to sleep, more food than I need, and have the privilege…
BlogMasculinity
Short King or Daddy Long Legs?
November 16, 2022I recently read that the new UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, is regarded as a Short King (he's 5' 7"). Short King? I had never heard the term before though I had a pretty good idea what it was all…
BlogConnectionMeet MenLiving
Introducing MenLiving Connect
November 9, 2022My first friend that I remember was Sean Fitzpatrick. Second Grade. Sean and I were on the nerdy side. Studious. We liked books. It’s possible we were drawn together by our same first name, but I don’t recall how big…
BlogMasculinity
“He Was A Man”
November 2, 2022On July 31, Bill Russell died at the age of 88. He was a once in a generation athlete known primarily for his time as the center of the Boston Celtics collecting 11 NBA titles in 13 seasons. I grew…
BlogLiving Intentionally
BEING
October 26, 2022A piece from Bob McKinnon. He is a writer, designer, podcast host, children’s author and teacher. Last week, I took a few minutes to create a list of all the major things I’ve done professionally so far this year. While…
BlogThought Leader Interview
MenLiving Thought Leader: An Interview with Dr. Frank Keil on Wonder
October 19, 2022In this edition of the MenLiving Thought Leader Series, Patrick NcKenna interviews Dr. Frank Keil, Professor of Cognitive Science and Director of the Cognition and Development Lab at Yale University, and author of the book, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science.…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Intentionally
October 19, 2022MenLiving wants to see a world of healthy, intentional, connected men. To make that vision a reality, we create spaces where men can connect, heal, and thrive. We also offer simple suggestions for how they might live life more fully.…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Candidly
October 11, 2022MenLiving wants to see a world of healthy, intentional, connected men. To make that vision a reality, we create spaces where men can connect, heal, and thrive. We also offer simple suggestions for how they might live life more fully.…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Emotionally
October 4, 2022MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
BlogMasculinity
The Crisis of Men and Boys
October 4, 2022I am a fan of David Brooks and have been reading his New York Time column for a long time. Last Friday, he posted the following piece on the struggles of boys and men in our society. Most of the…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Curiously
September 27, 2022MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
BlogMental Health
Saved by Loving Kindness
September 27, 2022A couple of weeks ago, Todd Adams, MenLiving's Executive Director, sent a video to contributing members sharing news on the suicide ideation training MenLiving facilitators completed with NAMI. In response, Martin McLeish sent the following note... About fifteen years after…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Consciously
September 21, 2022MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving evolving…
September 13, 2022MenLiving exists because men are bad at friendship, the lack of friendship leads to greater levels of anxiety, depression and death, and men die earlier than women, and at an ever-increasing rate, by their own hand. Some might suggest or…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Redefining Sensitivity As An Essential Trait in Boys: MenLiving Speaks with Writer Elisse Gabriel
September 6, 2022The ways that word association and the assumptions that may follow interact with each other have always had cultural meaning behind it. When we hear words like "joy" and "sadness," they usually bring clear understanding of what’s happening. Using the…
BlogThought Leader Interview
What Makes us Happy and What Fills Our Heart Most: An Interview about Life and Fulfilling Relationships with Dr. Belinda Campos
August 24, 2022Being able to combine lived experiences with your life’s work is a gift not all of us in the world get to have. For Dr. Belinda Campos, who is a professor in the Department of Chicano/Latino Studies at the University…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Self-Acceptance, Self-Love, Integrating All Parts of Myself
August 17, 2022Author: Dan Silberberg Carl Jung and Joseph Conrad are inextricably bound in "The Hero's Journey". For me, the "false self", the mask I use to be lovable, to be acceptable to others, and to project myself into the world has…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Mentorship, Affirming Education and Changing the World for the Better: MenLiving Speaks with Louie Ortiz-Fonseca of Advocates for Youth
August 9, 2022Louie Ortiz-Fonseca knows how great it feels when a mentor sees potential in someone and helps grow and blossom that potential, almost like a beautiful plant that takes time and care. Ortiz-Fonseca, who considers themselves “a child by nonprofits,” has…
BlogMen's Health
Eight Foods to Supercharge a Man’s Health
August 3, 2022This Fitbit blog post from Australian Joel Feren was in my feed yesterday and it intrigued me. I am usually not one for random list blogs, but I was thinking about men's health and it hit me at the right…
BlogSocial IssuesThought Leader Interview
The Strides Made and the Work Ahead: Celebrating Bernice Sandler and the Fight for Title IX, 50 Years Later
July 26, 2022Telling the story of one of the biggest civil rights leaders in the history of the U.S. is no easy feat. Being able to tell that story in a fascinating, digestible way for young teenage readers can be even more…
BlogConnection
The Sweet Aroma of Friendship
July 20, 2022I live with the perspective that we humans are just animals with consciousness and that consciousness can be good and bad for us. For this piece, I am not going to share any deep philosophical explanation about the merits of this…
BlogThought Leader Interview
How Seeking Out Fun Can Bring Fulfillment, Increase Productivity and Keep You Healthy: MenLiving Speaks with Dr. Mike Rucker
July 5, 2022You’ve most likely heard how the old proverb goes: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” The exact origins aren’t known, but the saying first appeared in James Howell’s “Proverbs in English, Italian, French and Spanish” in…
BlogMasculinity
Men Leaning In
June 29, 2022I was on the phone with some buddies the other day- 3 days after the historic overturn of Roe V Wade. Although I found myself thinking quite a bit over the SCOTUS decision, we did not talk about it. Instead,…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Teaching Ethics, Integrity and Healthy Masculinity While Still Remembering Kids are Kids in 2022: MenLiving Speaks with Two Chicago Educators
June 21, 2022The job of teaching teenagers is no easy feat. It can be frustrating and exhausting for both new and well-seasoned educators. But for Brandon Woods and Jonathon Legendre, it’s all part of the process of helping develop young minds, with…
BlogFamilyMasculinity
Reflections on Fatherhood
June 15, 2022Being a father to a child can mean so many things to different people. As Father’s Day approaches, MenLiving wanted to highlight what fatherhood means to some of the dads in our community. Get ready to smile, feel inspired or…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
MenLiving Emotionally…A Repost
June 7, 2022I am a big fan of Matt Haig and his writing. He is most recently known for the NYT Best Seller, The Midnight Library. I could list the books of his I recommend, but that would be a waste. I…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Living Boldly and Consciously: How Two Entrepreneurs Are Changing the Way Consumers Make Sustainable Purchases
May 31, 2022When the pandemic first began in the spring of 2020 and the impact of lockdown was hitting, people found lots of different ways to occupy their time. Some got into knitting, some became sourdough breadmaking aficionados, and some used the…
BlogSocial Issues
People Like People
May 25, 2022I recently read a profile on Brandon Stanton, the founder of the Humans of New York. The reporter writes, “the more stories of uplift he posted, the more people craved them. His most devoted followers, he said, who showed up…
BlogMasculinity
Beauty is (crepey)skin deep
May 18, 2022The other day I was in a downward dog, and I took note of the “loose” skin on my thighs right above my knees. My wife is often talking about “crepey” skin, and I am covered with it. Up and…
BlogThought Leader Interview
How Processing Grief Can Lead to More Authentic Connections: Andrea Dorn on Writing About Loss for Children, The Power of Mindfulness and Embracing those Tough, Sad Feelings
May 11, 2022By Patrick McKenna Andrea Dorn never expected to become an author, let alone a non-fiction children’s books. But as someone who was always creative and had a career of experience as a clinical social worker, the pieces of the puzzle…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
Men Who Love Men
May 4, 2022A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from Barry Schoenfeld from the California Community of Men. As I subsequently learned when I connected with Barry, he was doing “competitive research” when he came upon MenLiving. Curious, he signed…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
The Games Men Play
April 27, 2022I love to play games - basketball, pickleball, golf, you name it. But when it comes to friendship with men, games become more challenging to play. Typically, games have rules to follow that make the game fun, but with male…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Teaching Advocacy and Acceptance: Chris Tompkins on Talking to Your Kids, Not Making Assumptions and His Book Raising LGBTQ Allies
April 19, 2022Author Patrick McKenna When Chris Tompkins realized there was a missing conversation happening with his own family, he felt the need to not just broaden their view on LGBTQ topics, but to do so with families everywhere. This put him…
BlogFamilyPodcast
Special Stuff….Zen Parenting Radio Episode #644
April 19, 2022We are big fans of Zen Parenting Radio (and not because our ED is one of the cohosts!). From time to time, we highlight an episode that resonates with us. In Support Them from the Outside- Podcast #644,Todd and Cathy…
BlogPodcast
IYCTF Episode 10: Ben Feller
April 13, 2022MenLiving presents If You've Come This Far. IYCTF is a podcast where Shaun Emerson and Chris Lozier aim simply to have authentic conversations with interesting people about what they do to make life more fulfilling and more impactful, and they…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
A Shocking Revelation
April 6, 2022Check out this study from 2014… Researchers at University of Virginia and Harvard University ran a series of 11 studies and found that participants from a range of ages generally did not enjoy spending even brief periods of time alone…
BlogMasculinity
React or Respond
March 30, 2022On Oscar night, after what’s now being referred to as “the slap”, I posted this to the Men Living page: So many thoughts … The idea that a slap to the face is the way to resolve conflict is exactly…
BlogThought Leader Interview
“Healing is a Marathon” How Christopher LeMark is Breaking Down Barriers and Normalizing Therapy, One Cup of Coffee at a Time
March 16, 2022Christopher LeMark’s path to healing has been a difficult, involving self-examination and learning give himself the space to process and restore his mental wellness. For him, it’s been a marathon, not a sprint. While on this journey, he felt like…
BlogLiving Intentionally
The Work
March 2, 2022I am a big fan of Byron Katie and her work, The Work. If you are familiar with her, feel free to skip to the “Katie and her work resonates with me” for the big payoff 😏. If you are…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Finding the Courage to Love Yourself and Your Identity, Fully: Dr. Stacee Reicherzer Speaks with MenLiving
February 28, 2022Dr. Stacee Reicherzer knows exactly who she is and what makes her sparkle. But it wasn’t an easy road to get to self-discovery. Growing up queer and transgender in South Texas, she faced plenty of bullying and traumatic experiences for…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Hold My Hand
February 15, 2022In 2106, the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams published The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. It was a book based on Archbishop Tutu’s visit to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to…
BlogLiterature
5:15
February 8, 20225:15 is story from Ryan Bayron's first book, Gummy Bears for the Soul: A Collection of Life Lessons That Are Easy To Chew But Hard To Digest As Told Through A Cacophony of Stories About My Dad That Are Definitely All…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Metaverse, Shmetaverse
February 2, 2022This picture above is of me. Rather, my Bitmoji. I hope you’ll recognize me in case we meet up in the “metaverse.” Have you been reading about the metaverse? It is a term first coined by Neal Stephenson in his…
BlogThought Leader Interview
The Unending Quest for Happiness: Why Authentic Connection May Be The Answer You’re Missing
January 31, 2022When Ruth Whippman, author of the New York Times Editor’s Choice book “America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks,” was asked why embracing negative emotions is actually a good thing, she said…
BlogFamilyLiving Intentionally
Zen Parenting: A Q&A with Cathy Cassani Adams
January 26, 2022On February 1st, MenLiving "extended" family member, Cathy Cassani Adams (she is our ED's wife 😉) wil release her latest book, Zen Parenting. By the title, you might think this book is just about parenting (because it is in the title…
BlogFamily
How to Relax Relationship Tension, and Get Your Life Back on Track Fast
January 19, 2022Guest Author: Steve Srotir Does your relationship feel like a stretched rubber band that’s about to snap? Leaving you stressed, confused, and wondering... How did you get here? What do you do next? Me too… Been there done, done that.…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Getting Intimate
January 12, 2022On Friday, Patrick McKenna and I were collaborating on a communication piece to welcome new men connecting with MenLiving for the first time. In the initial draft, Patrick included a sentence about small batches. It read, “Small Batches are more intimate…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Making Mental Health a Fitness Routine: Blake Reichenbach Talks About The Intersection of Media, Body Image and Men’s Physical and Mental Wellness.
January 6, 2022Before Blake Reichenbach founded the publication, Self-Himprovement, he felt frustrated with the content he was being paid to create as a freelance writer. So the writer created his own website where he had the freedom to create the content he…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Numbers & Labels
January 5, 2022I just finished reading, The Every, by Dave Eggers. The novel is basically about a monopoly tech company that dominates humanity and a woman's efforts to destroy it. In the book, the Every introduces (among many other things) two apps,…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Taking Off the Shield and Raising Boys to Be Emotionally Connected: Dr. Michael Reichert Speaks with MenLiving
January 4, 2022Patrick McKenna Dr. Michael Reichert has made a lifelong career out of helping young boys get in touch with their emotions and unlearn harmful ideas around masculinity. He’s an author, psychologist and Executive Director of the Center for the Study…
BlogLiving Intentionally
A Radical Blog Post
December 29, 2021Radical New Paradigm. Radical Candor. Radical Acceptance. Radical Friendship. Radical Parenting. Radical Transparency. Radical Masculinity. Radical Rest (Huh??). These noun phrases are just a small sample of what seems to be a fascination with the radical modifier these days. Are…
BlogConnection
Friendships of Character
December 21, 2021Over the last year, I have used this space to share my thoughts on relationships and friendships. Today, I am sharing with you an excerpt from an interview between David Brooks, the New York Times columnist, and ethicist, Leon Kass. In this…
BlogMasculinity
The Incredible Shrinking Man (or part of the Man)
December 15, 2021Growing up, I visited with both sets of grandparents often. Without fail, every time I would enter my Nana Emerson’s house, she would give me a big hug and exclaim, “Oh, Shaun, you are getting so big, and I am…
BlogConnection
Circles of Friendship
November 24, 2021Shaun Emerson Robin Dunbar, the evolutionary psychologist, is best known for his namesake “Dunbar’s number,” which he defines as the number of stable relationships people are able to maintain at once. (The proposed number is 150.) But in a new book…
BlogMeet MenLiving
I highly recommend “If You’ve Come This Far” (especially episode 1)!
November 9, 2021Todd Adams MenLiving has grown quite a bit in its offerings in the last few years. We began as a group of men coming to my living room once a month to have an authentic discussion and has evolved into…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Divine Medicine
November 2, 2021Guest Author: David Young Being human is a gift, but all too often is a painful and lonely one. Unresolved pain is trauma of spirit and flesh. Chronic suffering emboldens the lure of addictive and numbing aspects of social media, violence, greed,…
BlogLiving Intentionally
hot sauce on ice cream
November 2, 2021I like hot sauce / spicy stuff, and I've historically felt constrained by just whether or not the thing is "already spicy". I've been getting joy lately by figuring out how to make my food spicy, whether it was intended…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
The Other Day…
October 27, 2021The other day, during a rather tense discussion my wife and I were having…(okay, it devolved into an argument…let me be honest here), it turned from the topic we were “discussing” to how I’m difficult to communicate with. This led me…
BlogUncategorized
Cacao
October 19, 2021Guest Author: David Young Cacao is served worldwide, often at empathogenic and entheogenic medicine ceremonies, yoga/tantric/breathwork/meditation sessions, and many other gatherings. It is easy for anyone to enjoy themselves at home and it can strengthen relationships especially if enjoyed as a…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
How To Not Be Perfect (What’s Shame Got To Do With It?)
October 19, 2021Erik Treese & Joey Cardella Spoiler alert: This blog post is about shame. Ugh. Cool topic, bro. Bear with me though. Here I am, alone in the living room of my 1 BR apartment, having a moment where I…
BlogLiving Intentionally
POWER
October 13, 2021Take a moment and think of what comes to mind when you see the word POWER. Try saying it aloud. What do you associate with the word? If you have pen and paper handy, jot down a couple words that come…
BlogLiterature
The Kingdom of the Royal Children
October 12, 2021John Natoli Once upon a time, in an age before memory, there was a kingdom ruled by a greedy and suspicious king. His every moment was overpowered by fears of intrigue and betrayal. He held all his many possessions under…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Who are we?
October 5, 2021I co-founded a men’s group with Frank Naugo in March of 2012. We invited a few friends into my living room to come together for a conversation. They didn’t really know what they were getting into and neither did we, but…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Just Say it
September 29, 2021How are you as a communicator? Do you talk about the things that are hard to talk about? This question has been front and center for me lately. My thinking on the matter has been spurred by the last two MenLiving…
BlogThought Leader Interview
Interrupting the Story: How Survivor Mark Meier Turned his Fight Against Depression into a Fight for Men’s Mental Health
September 26, 2021After battling depression and anxiety for many years, Mark Meier almost lost his own life to suicide. The pain and mental instability he had struggled with for so long almost pushed him over the edge, but the cry from his…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityFamily
Being Not Right is Uneasily Done
September 22, 2021It’s hard to not be right. In much of our lives, it’s quite important, if not imperative to be right. If your tax accountant, dentist, plumber or air traffic controller gets it wrong, there can be severe consequences. If you show up…
BlogSocial Issues
Last Week in Texas
September 8, 2021When I heard the news last week about the law that passed in Texas, I said to myself “That’s wrong and I wish that law didn’t pass.” I then went on with the rest of my day without giving it much…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Gazing
August 25, 2021I was zooming the other day and noticing, at a particular angle, an emerging turkey neck. This development fits nicely with no hair (except in my ears and nose!), muscle deterioration and crepey (more like creepy) skin. At 58, my…
BlogFamilyLiving Intentionally
Peach Pie Party
August 18, 2021As a student of Life and someone who’s passionate about learning how to more fully participate, engage and grow in my everyday existence, I have learned to seek out and “pool” my resources. Teacher resources that is. I lean on myself and…
BlogThought Leader Interview
MenLiving Thought Leaders: An Interview with Andrew Smiler, PhD.
August 16, 2021In his second entry to the MenLiving Thought Leader series, Patrick interviews Dr. Andrew Smiler. Dr Smiler is an author and licensed therapist with expertise in adolescent boys, men, and masculinity. He is the author of “Is Masculinity Toxic?: A…
BlogConnection
Courage to Connect
August 11, 2021On Monday, I participated in a call with MenLiving member, Tony Schmidt, and Dr. Daniel Ellenberg. Dr. Ellenberg, is a psychotherapist, marriage and relationship therapist, author, and facilitator. He has been leading men’s groups for over 30 years and is the…
BlogFamilyMasculinity
Initiations
August 3, 2021There are plenty of emotional moments in This is Us, one of the many reasons it’s my favorite show. But one scene in particular choked me up, when Randall, then a 9-year-old boy, was in his karate class with his father observing…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityFamily
Speak to the hurt and locate it.
July 28, 2021My kids are going through a phase where they seem to want MOM all the time. The fact is they don’t want her all of the time, but the percentage is pretty high and I did state it “seems” like all…
Uncategorized
2022 MenLiving Weekend
July 28, 2021https://player.vimeo.com/video/579994875 MenLiving - Unplug, Unwind and Recharge from Shaun Emerson on Vimeo.
BlogLiterature
Man has intuition (An original poem by John Natoli)
July 13, 2021Man has intuition too, We carry it boiling in our belly A hot coal that won't extinguish It bubbles over in rage or suspicion Its vapor clouds our vision Sizzling whispered lies of ineptitude, inadequacy Sometimes, when we open our…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Sweatpants
July 7, 2021Dan Shea is a a dear friend of mine. I love him. Today, I am going to tell you a nice story about a good man doing a good thing. Maybe we all could do one good thing today, too. …
BlogLiving Intentionally
Traffic
June 30, 2021I drove to Detroit yesterday to meet with some customers, and while on I94 East, I ran into a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. Teeth clenched… Grrrrr. Cue the inner dialogue: What’s going on up there? Where are all these people going in…
BlogThought Leader Interview
An Interview with Andrew Reiner
June 24, 2021Andrew Reiner has been interested in challenging the tropes of modern day hypermasculinity since his teenage years. After becoming a father, the research he had been doing for years felt even more urgently needed. That, matched with the reception he…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Not Voted Off This Island
June 22, 2021A neighbor and I used to get together to drink wine and discuss philosophy. (Now and then, we talked about roofing companies and battery-powered lawnmowers, too.) Brad’s an economics professor who spends much of life in a world of numbers.…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
If only people would behave the way I want them to…
June 16, 2021I recently had a conversation with a member of our Executive Team at work regarding the transition of fully remote, work from home to working back in the office. Of course, as things begin to open up here in Illinois and…
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally
Brothers…Sisters
June 9, 2021For a little more than a year, I have gathered virtually with many of the men on this distribution list for meaningful connection. Some weeks, I connect with you multiple times: in big groups, small groups and one on one.…
BlogConnection
Brother.
June 2, 2021Brother is a song by LA indie rock band Lord Huron. It means a lot to me and if you know the song it might mean a lot to you as well. If this post is your first exposure to…
BlogMental Health
Part III: Finding Love & Acceptance-Living with Bipolar Disorder
May 25, 2021I chose to share my story through this blog series for many reasons. Since 2017, nearly every person that’s come into my life on a meaningful level knows about my experiences with mental illness. Whether it's a new coworker, someone…
BlogMental Health
Part II: Finding Love & Acceptance-Living with Bipolar Disorder
May 19, 2021Waking up in the behavioral health unit of a hospital was a surreal, humbling experience. There's often a tendency to think you’re above those who are struggling harder than you are -- it was hard to accept that I could be…
BlogMental Health
Finding Love & Acceptance: Living with Bipolar Disorder
May 12, 2021Hi, I’m Patrick. I’m about to do what I feel that I do best. I’m going to tell the story of my life and experiences living with a mood disorder. It’s an abbreviated version of the rollercoaster ride of the…
BlogFamily
11 Mistakes
May 5, 2021I’m 19 years into my marriage and I don’t pretend to be an expert. However, I know my foundation is solid and will endure the test of time. Mostly because when I screw up, I do my best to learn…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Birding is a lot like personal growth work.
April 28, 2021I’m lying in bed (in my camper) unable to sleep and all of a sudden I hear it. “Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you-all?” Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you-aaaaall?” The amazing, distinctive call of the Barred Owl. Undeniable. And, thrilling…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
Be-Do-Have
April 21, 2021"We don't see the world as it is; we see it as we are"― Anaïs Nin. What does this quote open up your awareness to? Can you reflect on an experience that might bring it alive? Perhaps if it has some…
BlogLiving Intentionally
There’s this dance…
April 14, 2021There’s this dance of BEing in the present moment AND creating your future. Oh this dance can be a graceful waltz or a rough krump battle. It can be carefully choreographed or made up on the spot and improvised. How to…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Spiritual Bypass or Letting Go
April 7, 2021Over the last couple of weeks, it has been suggested to me that I may be a “spiritual bypasser.” Do you know this term? From Wikipedia, “Spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing…
BlogMasculinitySocial Issues
“She did all the things”
March 24, 2021I wrote this post today so you will see this one phrase. And if you decide to read this post, I hope this one phrase sticks to you: “She did all the things.” In yesterday’s episode of Zen Parenting Radio,…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
Questions of Leadership
March 17, 2021My company recently administered a leadership assessment (test) for a cross section of employees. The Sales Management team (of which I’m a part) was reviewing the assessment of an individual in our organization we’ve deemed ready to be in a Leadership…
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally
Zoom or not to Zoom
March 10, 2021As of yesterday, 92M Americans had been vaccinated. The new President has stated that there will be enough vaccinations for every American by the end of May. Cubs and Sox will let fans in the parks. I am getting a…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
It’s Not How, It’s Where
March 2, 2021Every day I ask men, “How are you doing?” Usually I get a response like, “fine” or “good”, but that’s not really what I’m looking for. A better way to phrase the question is, “How are you feeling?” When guys…
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally
Conflict
February 24, 2021Conflict. Take a moment and ponder this word. What are your thoughts and beliefs about it? What comes up for you when see and put your attention towards it? Perhaps say it aloud. Conflict. Any body sensations? How do you feel when…
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
Alone not Lonely
February 17, 2021I like being alone. There are many activities I would prefer to do solo, but I don’t often get the chance. I am rarely alone. I think I decided long ago that engaging others would lead to a more fruitful…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Forward!
February 10, 2021I found my answer when I was thumbing through Walden by Thoreau the other day. I’d been working through a couple of weeks of being in some sort of a “funk”. This somber tone edging up to a low-grade depressed state. This…
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally
Sleeping, Working, and Leisuring
February 3, 2021Every year, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics surveys how Americans spend their time. The latest results are from the 2019 study. The chart below depicts average hours per day spent in selected activities in total and then for men…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
People Don’t Care About Me (Why That’s Good News)
January 26, 2021A good chunk of my day is spent seeking out approval of others. It pains me (and is slightly embarrassing) to admit, but it’s the truth. Three examples: I do pushups and jog regularly - partially to clear my head and…
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
“I’m right, you’re wrong”
January 19, 2021On a recent Sunday, while engaging in some early morning contemplation time, humor and laughter came to mind. I was reminded of a couple recent experiences I had related to the topic. First, I watched comedian Russell Howard interview Matthew McConaughey. In…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
Performing or Living?
January 5, 2021Last August, Pete Hamill, the New York City journalist, novelist, essayist and editor died. Over the years, I had read several of his newspaper pieces and had always intended on reading some of his longer works. News of his death…
BlogConnectionMeet MenLiving
Dancing Through COVID
December 29, 2020https://youtu.be/Nb5nvN4iuvg The pandemic swept through the world with tragic consequences. Through the adversity and pain, emerged some normalcy, some joy. Watch MenLiving Board Member, Edward Gudas, his wife Laurie and daughters Kalina and Lainie dance and sing their way through…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
I Love Awkward!
December 24, 2020Every Saturday, for years, I have read Peggy Noonan’s Declarations column in the Wall Street Journal. Last Saturday, Peggy was writing as always about politics, the country and not too surprisingly COVID and the vaccine. Towards the end of the…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Bow…then clean your closet
December 16, 2020Often, there’s a tape playing inside my head that says, “You’re not doing enough." This tape can continually run if I don’t stop and bring my awareness to it. Sometimes I’ll catch myself in these moments and either internally or by physically…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
The GOAT and The Kiss
December 9, 2020I grew up outside of Boston, but I have now been in the Midwest for almost 20 years longer than I was in New England. And despite my move, I have maintained my allegiance to Boston’s sports franchises. A loyalty…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Living Intentional
December 2, 2020“How was your day?” “Pretty good. How was yours?” Sound familiar? It does to me. Honestly, I get tired of hearing myself reply in that way with such regularity. Now, don’t get me wrong, “pretty good” is pretty good these days. My wife is asking me about my…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Ruminating…
November 25, 2020I have been ruminating about our organization’s new name, MenLiving. As you can see, we eliminated the space between Men and Living to create the name and logo. My contemplation led me to wonder what if we added the space…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving – same game, different name
November 17, 2020Back when I established my first “men’s group” in 2008, I personally invited a handful of men to join me in forming a thing I had little knowledge about, much less a plan for. Because they trusted me (I suppose) a…
BlogMasculinity
Heads You Win…?
November 10, 2020For years, I have been receiving Fortune’s daily email, TermSheet. TermSheet provides a summary of the previous day’s venture capital and private equity deals. A few weeks ago, I read this: Numan, a UK-based online health clinic for men just raised…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
“Don’t Know” Mind
November 3, 2020I am creating this post on Tuesday afternoon prior to polls closing. I was going to write about men’s health, but figured it would be a little numb not to share something that is born from an election that is…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
The Trials of a Rule Follower
October 20, 2020I continue to learn things about myself. At 47 yrs old, I’m sometimes surprised to find there’s more here to discover. This summer my family and I went to visit my parent home in Michigan. It just so happened that they were…
BlogLiteratureMeet MenLiving
Poems
October 14, 2020The topic of our September 30th Chicago meeting was Cultivating Creativity. Mike Rosen and Todd Adams wrote a couple great poems about their MenLiving experience. We Gather- Mike Rosen Under the timeless glow of an autumn moon We gather Not…
BlogMasculinityMeet MenLiving
What is a “regular” guy?
October 7, 2020To start, this is a picture of my friend, Craig Dooley. He is a wonderful man. I texted him last night to let him know that I would be writing about him. I think he might be surprised by the…
Uncategorized
IMC Thursday 10-1-20
October 4, 2020https://vimeo.com/464768873 https://vimeo.com/464768749 https://vimeo.com/464768700 https://vimeo.com/464768498
BlogFamily
Creatively Yours
September 29, 2020There are at least as many ways in which parenting is wonderful as it is challenging. My kids teach me things almost daily (I’m guessing you can relate). Their wisdom catches me off guard sometimes and I’m stuck sitting there dumbfounded,…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity
Vulnerability, Leadership, and Masculinity
September 22, 2020In recent days, we have witnessed a high profile microcosm of the struggle in which our men’s group and we have been engaged for nearly a decade. The arena was no less than the National Football League, the most popular…
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityFamilyMasculinity
The Most Important Work You Can Do Right Now.
September 16, 2020A while back, I conducted an initial therapy session with a family: Mom, Dad and sixteen-year-old son. Let’s call him James. Mom and son sat on the couch, dad on an adjacent chair. The presenting issue was the son’s disrespect…
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
You know what assuming does…
September 8, 2020As I was finishing up a run in the forest preserve yesterday I noticed an older woman walking with 2 plastic bags towards the woods. Wait, is that my neighbor from across the street? She was a ways away from me but…
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
Am I going to start crying?
September 1, 2020Last night I was sitting alone on my back deck on a beautiful summer night and was a little beat down from a long week. I listened to some soft music (Natalie Merchant) and just sat there. I began thinking…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Just Sitting
August 26, 2020I am 57 years old. Let’s say for the simplicity of round numbers, adulthood starts at 17. Therefore, I have been an “adult” for 40 years (damn!). For the first 30 of those adult years, I was a workaholic, mostly…
Blog
Beauty or Utility?
August 18, 2020After I’m done with the workday, I generally go out for a stroll through the neighborhood to unwind, get some fresh air and move my bones. One of the things I enjoy doing on these walks is to check out…
BlogConnection
Honest Human Relationships
August 12, 2020About 3 or 4 years ago, I attended my first MenLiving meeting. Today, I am MenLiving’s Board President and a very involved day to day volunteer. But, honestly, I’m still not particularly comfortable with the concepts of traditional “men’s work,”…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Everything is Possible
August 4, 2020I’m lying in bed at 4 o’clock am thinking of how things could have gone better in our Sales and Customer Service Coordination meeting today - that’s never a good thing…OR, could it be? I’m reminded of what this meeting is…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Cry, of course!
July 29, 2020This past Saturday, to open up our Board of Directors' meeting for MenLiving, we checked-in with naming a man or men that inspire us or is part of the “why” we do this work. It happened to be a rather impromptu…
BlogConnection
Artistry and Play
July 22, 2020Do you consider yourself an artist? What is the first type of art that you hold yourself up against when trying to answer that question? Or, did you immediately answer “no”? If I weren’t asking the questions here, I would have probably answered…
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally
Dog Paddling
July 15, 2020Last week, I was hanging by the pool with my wife and 26 year old daughter when my daughter suggested we have a doggy paddle “competition.” I was reading a book at the time so wasn’t particularly interested. They weren’t…
BlogLiving IntentionallyMasculinity
The Qualities of a Gentleman
July 1, 2020I wanted to share a blog post I wrote over 9 years ago. The point was and is not political. The point was and is aspirational. On February 15th, President Obama honored 15 individuals at the annual Presidential Medal of…
BlogSocial Issues
Carrying Within
June 23, 2020Recently, spurred on by what’s been happening in this country since George Floyd’s death, we’ve been immersed in several discussions centered around systemic racism in this country and what impact that has on black and brown skinned people and all…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Finding Harmony
June 10, 2020Breathe in… To live in a more harmonious world by deepening connections amongst men Breathe out… These prompts are reminders for me, as much if not more than, they are for anyone reading this. Between breaths is our vision for…
BlogSocial Issues
A Tragic Death and the Memory of a Missed Opportunity
June 2, 2020By now you’ve hopefully heard the story of how George Floyd’s life ended. I am deeply saddened, angered and disappointed to learn of yet another black man’s life ending prematurely and in such a brutal and senseless way. He was murdered by…
BlogFamily
Life is Unfair
February 25, 2020I had a rather unusual Friday night. It was unusual because I was home all by myself. I had worked from home and my wife had taken the kids to an early evening "play date" after picking my oldest up…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Meet MenLiving: MenLiving Co-Founders Todd Adams and Frank Naugo
December 19, 2019Meet the Tribe is an ongoing blog post providing more insight into the men who are members of our community. In our inaugural post, we introduce you to Shaun Emerson
BlogLiving Intentionally
Disprove Your Story…by golly
November 18, 2019One of the great things for me about exercise, especially the kind that is somewhat monotonous, or rather, "trance-like" (as is the case with running) is how it allows my mind to move in ways it otherwise wouldn't. Both biking and running…
BlogMeet MenLiving
How MenLiving Changed My Life
November 6, 2019Fast forward to today, and here we are. I’m sober, and I wish I could go back to talk to the 34-year-old version of me. Among the many things I’d say is that this group can change you. I’m blessed…
BlogMeet MenLiving
Meet MenLiving: Shaun Emerson
November 5, 2019Meet the Tribe is an ongoing blog post providing more insight into the men who are members of our community. In our inaugural post, we introduce you to Shaun Emerson
BlogLiving Intentionally
Am I enough in this life?
October 16, 2019Am I enough in this life? Musings and contemplations to help me better understand myself and how I'm spending my time to make the best of this precious life.
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally
A Glimpse of Understanding
August 5, 2019I am visiting my brother who lives in Snoqualmie, WA which is about 30 minutes east of Seattle. After dropping off my 16-year-old daughter off for a lunch date, I had about an hour to kill so I decided to…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving 2.0 Update
April 24, 2019MenLiving men’s group is excited to announce its new status as a not for profit organization! The current group began February 2012 in Todd’s living room with a few others longing for authentic conversation and connection amongst men. Since that…
BlogMeet MenLiving
MenLiving Announces Not-For-Profit Status
April 12, 2019MenLiving men’s group is excited to announce its new status as a not-for-profit organization! The current group began February 2012 in Todd’s living room with a few others longing for authentic conversation and connection amongst men. Since that 1st meeting…
BlogMasculinity
Response to the Gillette Commercial
January 15, 2019There’s a been quite a bit of on-line dialogue in the last 24 hours regarding the new Gillette commercial “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be” If you haven’t seen it, please take a look here. It’s been viewed over…
BlogFamily
Don’t Give Your Wife A Break
September 6, 2018Yesterday a friend of mine was looking for support regarding an argument he recently had with his wife. The story he shared was similar to experiences I’ve had with my wife. “I worked in the backyard and cleaned out the…
BlogMasculinity
White Male Privilege & Toxic Masculinity
July 1, 2018“White male privilege” and “toxic masculinity” seems to be brought up now more than ever. Many men I know take offense to these terms. I don’t because I believe it’s true now and has been true for a very long…
BlogMasculinity
Wanted: White Men…
October 12, 2017…to step into the mature masculine. I define this as the capacity to be both strong and gentle, competitive and compassionate and the wisdom to know which energy to call on at any particular moment. Some men have recently criticized…
BlogEmotional Vulnerability
Calling All Complacent White Straight Males
August 17, 2017I am complacent when it comes to the tragedies that fill up my newsfeed - Charlottesville and North Korea, just to name a few. When I hear bad news, I pause for a moment and think to myself, “I’m scared”…
BlogMasculinity
Straight men showing PDA?
April 10, 2017In this video, straight Dutch men are holding hands in public in response to the gay couple who were physically attacked for a public display of affection.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezPXzGtXhVc I find this powerful and moving, and I would love to see…
BlogFamily
Parental Amnesia
October 21, 2016The following is a short list off the top of my head of some personal bad decision making from my adolescence. @ 5 years old I played “doctor” with a girl neighbor across the street engaging in a session of…
BlogFamily
Don’t Be A Dick
October 19, 2016I struggle with the writing process. My mind works in the form of bullet points as opposed to long-form which is what prohibits me from saying what I want to say. But I feel I have ideas of value to…
BlogMasculinity
What is “Men’s Work?”
September 9, 2016I have been doing a weekly podcast with my wife Cathy called Zen Parenting Radio for the last 6 years. The podcast is not so much about parenting, instead it’s mostly about self-awareness. Typically it’s simply the two of us…
BlogFamily
11 Mistakes Your Marriage Needs You to Stop Making
August 17, 2016I’m 11 years into my marriage and I don’t pretend to be an expert. However, I know my foundation is solid and will endure the test of time. Mostly because when I screw up, I do my best to learn…
BlogFamily
Am I a Bad Dad? Am I a Bad Husband?
August 17, 2016I have been in an on-line debate with a few close friends of mine regarding whether or not men have the nurturing gene the way women do. I argue that I while I have the ability to do everything (less…
BlogLiving Intentionally
Silence Is Not Golden
July 22, 2016I am a white straight male. I can wear a hoodie when I walk down the street. I feel safe because I live in an upper-middle class neighborhood. I don’t get judged because of my skin color. I don’t have…
BlogMasculinity
What Is Wrong And Right With This Video
January 5, 2016I posted a 53 second video yesterday morning on my Facebook page. It is of a little boy (maybe 3 years old) stroking, protecting, and caressing his newborn brother. That’s it. Big deal, right? Well the video has been viewed…
BlogLearning
Cubs- All The Way?
October 7, 2015Let’s get one thing straight- I am a White Sox fan. But on the eve of this Wildcard playoff game between the Cubs and the Pirates, I am 100% rooting for the North-siders. I have never subscribed to the idea…
