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BlogLiving Intentionally

Ghosting

There are some terrible recruiters out there.  Which isn’t stating a whole lot because there are also awful CEOS, incompetent sales managers, and unfriendly workers at the DMV.  I think the area where recruiters take the biggest rap is in…
May 18, 2024
BlogLiving Candidly

Man Vs Bear

by Todd Adams It’s been a thought experiment for a couple of weeks now: a TikTok question that asks, “Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear?” With the majority of women answering, “bear.”  When my wife…
May 14, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Questions from the Male Bag

Over the years I’ve received many candidate questions that I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer. The questions have more to do with applying good business judgment than necessarily solid recruiter advice. So I’m offering this Male Bag of questions…
May 13, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Greenlights

By Jason Samatas I feel fortunate and grateful that I get the opportunity to show up to so many different MenLiving spaces, whether it be Full Houses, specialized meetings on interesting topics, or Weekend Advances.  They are all special in…
May 7, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

The Question Behind the Question

My favorite artist at present, the one who provokes my thinking, creates ongoing intrigue, and occasionally makes me laugh is...Banksy. For those of you unfamiliar with Banksy, he is an anonymous British street artist known for his provocative and politically…
May 5, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

It’s ok to be Patagonia

If you could pack your bags and go anywhere in the world next year, where would you choose to go? For my wife and me, that question became a reality as we hit a triple witching event in our life;…
April 28, 2024
hockey players on thin ice
Emotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Skating on Thin Ice

by Jim Herbert The Chase For the Cup It’s that time of year again! This past Sunday marked the beginning of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, which for my money is still the best sports tournament on the planet. Teams that…
April 23, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Nerves

Do you ever have those occasions where you are nervous? Not the “kind-of” nervous feeling but the “totally-skittish-I-can’t-settle-myself-down” nervous feeling? I had one of those recently, right before giving one of the most important speeches in my life. I was…
April 21, 2024
BlogMasculinity

Silly, isn’t it?

Have you heard about the new telehealth startups pitching GLP-1s specifically to men? The New York Times has, and they recently asked the question, “Is the Era of ‘Brozempic’ Upon Us?” Ugh. Two companies, Fella Health, and Blokes are using…
April 17, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Zwifting Through Your Struggles

A few months ago I started Zwifting. For those of you unfamiliar with it, zwift is basically an online platform where you can ride (or run) in a virtual world. It's like a video game for exercise bikes. You can…
April 14, 2024
BlogLiving IntentionallySpiritual Growth

If You Want to Go Far, Go Together

by Todd Adams I have always loved swimming, and I especially enjoy it as a form of exercise. For the last few years, I have been swimming laps in the pool every few weeks simply to mix up my workouts.…
April 9, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

You Need to Step to the Left

Photography buffs know that composition plays a significant role in taking an effective photo. Considering what elements to include as well as framing, perspective, balance, and symmetry all help the photographer tell a particular story. Such is the case with…
April 6, 2024
BlogConnectionLiving Candidly

My Mind Is Blank

by Jason Samatas Sometimes I have so much to say that I scare myself on just how much I can talk. And other times, not so much. About every four weeks, I am given the opportunity to write the weekly…
April 2, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Are you a storytelling Jedi??

There is so much that divides our country. We continue to passionately disagree on social issues such as abortion, gun rights, gender equality, economic disparities, climate issues, etc. and of course, we are split on if Democratic or Republican leadership…
March 30, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Hello, Friend.

By Mike Rosen This week, the featured post is authored by MenLiving facilitator, Mike Rosen. Mike is a father, a 4th grade teacher and has been the lead on our Tuesday night seperation / divorce meeting since its inception.  …
March 27, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Is your resume a “singing holiday tie?”

As a recruiter, opening a candidate's resume feels like a mini-Christmas morning to me. There's a bubbling excitement and anticipation as I click on the PDF icon. Will this be the amazing gift I was looking for?  Will it exceed…
March 26, 2024
ConnectionEmotional Vulnerability

Feeling All the Feels and the Neighborhood of Make-Believe

by Jim Herbert Jim is passionate about life and he explores his individual hero’s journey with curiosity and zeal. Jim is a father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, author, coach, teacher and student who sees himself as a spiritual being having…
March 19, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Do You Know Where You Are Going?

Years ago, I saw a cartoon depicting a group of explorers deep in the heart of a jungle, using machetes to hack their way through heavy brush and vines. The caption of the cartoon had one individual saying to another,…
March 19, 2024
BlogLiving IntentionallyMasculinity

Oblivious?

Last week in our Weekly email, I share the exchange I had with Joan Dyer about the development of a men focused employee resource group and whether or not we should call it You Matter.  Marti, a MenLiving friend and wife…
March 13, 2024
BlogLiving IntentionallyMen's Health

You hate to lose

Remember the old phrase “be careful what you wish for!” It implies that sometimes, what we wish for may not turn out as expected, and could even have negative or unintended outcomes. In my experience, there is only one exception…
March 10, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

Too Much Head Trash

I sometimes wonder if recruiters need to be trained psychologists. I often deal with complex people issues.  So often in conversations, candidates share big fears, concerns and insecurities that they have in the work environment.  They share things like they…
March 6, 2024
ConnectionEmotional Vulnerability

The Different “Parts” of MenLiving

By Todd Adams This week, the featured post is authored by Todd Adams, MenLiving Executive Director & Co-founder I have been a fan of personal growth books, podcasts, in-person trainings, etc. for a long time. Over the last few years…
March 5, 2024
BlogMen's Health

Check, Please with Mike Rosen

Quick. Without pause, answer this question with a Yes or No.  Are you healthy? Hmmm. What did you answer? It’s not really an easy or fair question to answer straight away. My answer is “Yes (for the most part. I…
February 27, 2024
BlogLearningLiving Intentionally

You let others think for you

I had an interesting exchange recently with a candidate who was preparing for an interview.  A portion of  our conversation went something like this: Candidate: Dan how do I answer the question “What is my biggest weakness” Dan: Well, what…
February 27, 2024
Emotional VulnerabilityFamilyLiving Emotionally

Letter To My Son

Written by MenLiving Community Member, Dan Silberberg Dear Son: As I sit down to write this letter, I find myself reflecting on a journey that has shaped the person and leader I am today. It's a journey I wish to…
February 25, 2024
BlogLiving EmotionallyLiving IntentionallyPersonal Growth

Traveling to Another World

By Jason Samatas I’m a bit of a political junkie.  I recall it was back in college when I first started enjoying politics.  I enjoyed understanding how our government worked (or tried to work), as well as the strategy the…
February 20, 2024
BlogLiving Intentionally

“You know what your problem is?”

Like many people, I tend to use targeted humor when addressing challenging topics.  Regardless of the audience, this approach helps me in communicating a difficult point without creating any sort of tension or negative emotion. So whenever I have a…
February 19, 2024
Emotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Do the work!

So.......... I have been debating whether to post about what was going on for a few days this week. On the one hand I feel reluctant, on the other keen to share. Reluctant? Yeah! I talk and do stuff I…
February 19, 2024
BlogConnection

The Psychology of Love

by Jim Herbert Jim is passionate about life and he explores his individual hero’s journey with curiosity and zeal. Jim is a father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, author, coach, teacher and student who sees himself as a spiritual being having…
February 13, 2024
BlogConnectionLiving IntentionallyMasculinity

DIY

On the fourth episode of our podcast, If You’ve Come This Far, Chris and I interviewed Billy Baker, a Boston Globe columnist and the author of “We Need to Hang Out.” In his book, Baker recounts his efforts to make…
February 7, 2024
BlogConnection

Do You Ask for Support?

By Todd Adams This week, the featured post is authored by Todd Adams, MenLiving Executive Director & Co-founder I've been immersed in men's work for over 15 years, and a decade ago, I co-founded MenLiving, eventually taking on the role…
January 30, 2024
ConnectionFamily

Round and Round and Round It Goes

By Michael Eatmon This week, the featured post is authored by Michael Eatmon. Michael’s a career educator. For over 30 years, he’s studied and taught language, philosophy, and theology. What feeds his embodied soul, though, are art, music, poetry, yoga, and the…
January 23, 2024
BlogLiving IntentionallyMental Health

June 7, 2018. Depression Lies.

By Mike Rosen This week, the featured post is authored by MenLiving facilitator, Mike Rosen. Mike is a father, a 4th grade teacher and has been the lead on our Tuesday night seperation / divorce meeting since its inception.  …
January 16, 2024
BlogLiving EmotionallyLiving Intentionally

There Isn’t Always an Answer

By Jason Samatas A long-time Chicagoan, Jason now lives in a part of the country he’s always dreamed of living: near the mountains. Just outside of Boulder, CO, Jason now enjoys all that living in the West provides, although he…
January 9, 2024
Uncategorized

Charting an Intentional Path for 2024

by Jim Herbert Jim is passionate about life and he explores his individual hero’s journey with curiosity and zeal. Jim is a father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, author, coach, teacher and student who sees himself as a spiritual being having…
January 2, 2024
BlogMale Friendship

What is a friend?

Last week, my friend, Tracy Brown, sent this quote that is attributed to poet C. Raymond Beran to me and Todd Adams. In his email to us, he wrote, "I know how much you guys are doing to build bridges…
December 26, 2023
BlogLiving Emotionally

The Unbidden Guest

By Michael Eatmon This week, the featured post is authored by Michael Eatmon. Michael’s a career educator. For 30 years, he’s studied and taught language, philosophy, and theology. What feeds his embodied soul, though, are art, music, poetry, yoga, and…
December 19, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Decoding Life: What Meaning Are You Giving This Situation??

The author of this piece is MenLiving friend and Positive Masculinity Coach, Lark Ericson, RN, LF, In a world overflowing with information we find ourselves just trying to keep our heads above water perpetually caught in the crossfire of data…
December 18, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityFamily

The Gate

Our dog Sadie died yesterday and I’m really sad. She was a big, strong, fast, clumsy, oaf of a black lab with a thick skull, a nearly insatiable desire to run, and a tail as powerful as a bullwhip. We…
December 12, 2023
BlogMeet MenLiving

What’s on the Menu?

by Todd Adams, MenLiving Executive Director & Co-founder There’s a great scene in the movie My Cousin Vinny where Vinny, played by Joe Pesci, goes to a small-town restaurant with his wife and sits down to look at the menu.…
December 5, 2023
Uncategorized

Message Overload

by Jason Samatas A long-time Chicagoan, Jason now lives in a part of the country he’s always dreamed of living: near the mountains. Just outside of Boulder, CO, Jason now enjoys all that living in the West provides, although he…
November 28, 2023
Uncategorized

How to be Less Grateful on Thanksgiving

By Jim Herbert This week, the featured post is authored by MenLiving facilitator, Jim Herbert. Jim is a father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, author, coach, teacher and student who sees himself as a spiritual being having an amazing human experience.…
November 21, 2023
BlogLiving CandidlyLiving EmotionallyPersonal Growth

A Cone of Silence

Like many “men’s groups,” at the beginning of most MenLiving Full House meetings, the host will ask the men present to raise their hands and make a pledge of confidentiality. In essence, we all agree to uphold the idea that…
November 15, 2023
BlogLiving IntentionallyUncategorized

Three Alarms

By Mike Rosen This week, the featured post is authored by MenLiving facilitator, Mike Rosen. Mike is a father, a 4th grade teacher and has been the lead on our Tuesday night seperation / divorce meeting since its inception.  …
November 7, 2023
BlogLiving Emotionally

Kitchen Candor

By Michael Eatmon This week, the featured post is authored by Michael Eatmon. Michael’s a career educator. For 30 years, he’s studied and taught language, philosophy, and theology. What feeds his embodied soul, though, are art, music, poetry, yoga, and…
October 31, 2023
BlogLiving IntentionallyUncategorized

Not Wrong, Just Different

By Mike Rosen.  Mike is a father, a 4th grade teacher and has been the lead on our Tuesday night seperation / divorce meeting since its inception.   At the risk of appearing overly self-deprecating, I'm going to begin today’s…
October 24, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Now is Not the Time to Lose Hope

By Jason Samatas, MenLiving Facilitator Between the recent events in the Middle East, analyzing the political landscape in the United States, and along with a couple of personal issues that arose, I found myself battling with a feeling that I…
October 17, 2023
BlogMeet MenLivingPersonal Growth

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind

This week, the featured post is authored by Jim Herbert. Jim is a MenLiving facilitator,  father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, teacher and coach. You can learn more about Jim and The MindSmith Academy at JamesHenryHebert.com Thirty years ago in the…
October 10, 2023
BlogLiving CandidlyLiving Intentionally

The Practice Is Where It’s At

by Michael Eatmon, MenLiving Board Member   Last Saturday morning, my quads would have none of it. The yoga instructor called for a standing, bound, revolved figure 4. My lower back and legs laughed at the prospect. My expectations and…
September 26, 2023
BlogMeet MenLivingUncategorized

Not All Men’s Groups are Created Equal

By Jason Samatas, MenLiving Facilitator I've recently started a new relationship with a woman I met about a month ago. A few weeks ago, she invited me to her brother's wedding in Las Vegas – I mean, Vegas, right?! So,…
September 19, 2023
BlogConnectionPersonal Growth

What Rules Are You Playing By?

If I were to ask you – for the men reading this – “Do your friendships with other guys satisfy you?” I’m guessing you might say “yes”, and I can understand why you respond that way. You have somebody to…
September 12, 2023
BlogLearningPersonal Growth

I’m the Pilot

This week, the featured post is authored by MenLiving facilitator, Mike Rosen. Mike is a father, a 4th grade teacher and has been the lead on our Tuesday night seperation / divorce meeting since its inception.   ‘Time flies over…
September 5, 2023
Blog

I Hate My Body…I Love My Body!

This week, the featured post is authored by Jim Herbert. Jim is a father, husband, yogi, mystic, storyteller, teacher and coach. You can learn more about Jim and The MindSmith Academy at JamesHenryHebert.com Last week on Friday as I was…
August 29, 2023
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

A Good Cry

Last week, in two different virtual meetings, friends of mine got very emotional. One as he read a heart wrenching note from one of his friends. Another as he processed the pain and fatigue of a family in distress. Both…
August 23, 2023
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Collector or Purger?

While I am not sure I pass as a true minimalist, I do live with a minimalist mindset. The famous declutter, Marie Kondo, asks us to consider whether a possession “sparks joy” when we are considering what to do with…
August 16, 2023
BlogMen's Health

Men & Health Care: Removing Our Heads From Our Asses

Last month, The American Journal of Men’s Health posted a research article entitled, “Designing Men’s Health Programs: The 5C Framework.” In the article, researchers propose a model to assist practitioners building men’s health programs to improve accessibility and engagement. The…
August 9, 2023
BlogMasculinity

What is good about masculinity?

I just finished Caitlin Moran’s new book, What About Men? Moran is a decorated British journalist, feminist and the author of previous books, How To Be A Woman, How To Build A Girl and More Than A Woman. Her notion…
August 2, 2023
BlogLiving Candidly

Listen Better

“You are not hearing me.” In 30 years of marriage, I had heard her frustration more than I want to remember. I believe myself to be a good listener. Patient. Empathetic. Curious. I received feedback from others that I was…
July 26, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMental Health

Shame

A couple of months ago, my friend, Michael, made his first visit to Chicago. In addition to other planned events, we spent some time at the Chicago Art Institute. I dig the museum but hadn’t been in a while. Michael…
July 19, 2023
BlogLearningMale Friendship

Dating skills to practice on your friends

Kimberley Healey specializes in helping smart, thoughtful people create a deeply satisfying love life. Her work is intuitive, pragmatic and joyous. Each month, Kimberley hosts a Full House exploring dating and relationships. I often refer to MenLiving Connect as our "platonic dating…
July 11, 2023
Blog

The American Institute for Boys and Men

On June 30th, Richard Reeves, author of Of Boys and Men, announced that he would be leaving the Brookings Institution to become President of the American Institute for Boys and Men. This piece is a repost of his announcement from…
July 5, 2023
BlogMental Health

The Answer?

When my kids were young (they are now 28, 27, and 23), I would lose my mind when they would say to me, “I can’t.” I can’t ride a bike. I can’t do the math. I can’t parallel park….etc, etc,…
June 28, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Simple Strategies to Not Let Their Problem Become Your Problem and Interfering with Your Goals

Author: Guy Fitzgerald As a personal trainer and nutrition coach, I often see people who are struggling with their own health and wellness goals because they are so busy allowing other people's problems to become their problem. I am super…
June 13, 2023
Blog

Is June Men’s Health Awareness Month???

Yes, June is Men’s Health Awareness Month. Nice!! Being a leader of an organization that is working to realize a world of HEALTHY, intentional, connected men, I want as many people as possible to understand and appreciate men’s health issues.…
June 7, 2023
BlogMasculinity

The State of American Men

This article is a repost from Equimondo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice introducing their report on the state of american men in 2023.  This inaugural State of American Men report, “From Crisis and Confusion to Hope,” seeks to understand…
May 31, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMental Health

My Mental Health Journey

Author: Jim Schneider Recently, I wrote about the mental health crisis in the construction industry. Dealing with it requires first bringing attention to the problem, and then encouraging individuals who are struggling to get the help they need. That might…
May 22, 2023
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Happy Talk?

Author: Bill Chaney I grew up in a home where warm emotions were scarce.  I know my parents did the best they could to meet the challenges they faced.  Dad was busy as a carpenter trying to keep food on…
May 22, 2023
BlogMasculinity

The Gentleman of the East – Five behaviours of a traditional Indian gentleman

Author: Aditya Ganjoo The development of civilisations across the world allowed humans to feel safer, and thus, focus on other aspects of life, apart from survival. Probably, that is where the gentleman developed. In every tribe, and in every civilisation.…
May 10, 2023
BlogMental Health

The Mental Health Crisis in the Construction Industry

On Monday, May 15th at 7PM CT, MenLiving will host its first Construction Full House. The Construction Full House is one small way MenLiving is supporting the effort to address the mental health crisis in the industry. Community Member Jim…
May 8, 2023
Blog

Human vs. Machine

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the dialogue re: AI these days. I get it’s a big deal, and like all big deals, our culture will give it non-stop attention. I suppose the…
May 2, 2023
BlogLiterature

Untitled

Author: Jimmy Talarico To link green holes and the universes under them To think strongholds are the comfort blankets over them To rectify the blue sky abandonment of ‘know why’To know whyDon’t try to know whyBelow the gardens life is livingAbove the…
April 25, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Stop Scrolling and Start Connecting

Before I get into the heart of today’s topic, I need to set it up with a little personal background. In the mid-80’s, my first post graduate job was selling computers for Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC). I worked for DEC…
April 19, 2023
BlogMasculinityMental Health

“Masculinity, in many ways, is a performance.”

Yesterday, I was reading the transcript of a recent episode of the NPR podcast, Life Kit, with Frank Festa, entitled, “Defining masculinity on your own terms.” In the podcast, one of the guests says, “Masculinity, in many ways, is a…
April 5, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Featuring Fear- Jumping into the ditch with eyes on the bell

Author: Aditya Ganjoo I was lingering at the third last rung of an approximately ten metre tall Jacob’s ladder. Just one more rung to climb for transitioning to the other side for descending. I know that my fear of heights…
March 28, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMental Health

Befriending My Inner Critic

Author: Jim Schneider Like many people, I have an annoyingly loud inner critic. And when I say “loud,” I mean I he walks around in my head with one of those bullhorns that has flashing lights and sound effects, just…
March 28, 2023
BlogMasculinityMen's Health

Jaw-Dropping

A few months back, I wrote a post called “Short King or Daddy Long Legs” that explored the practice of leg lengthening by men. A ghastly and painful exercise just to get a few inches taller. Well, as a man…
March 22, 2023
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Checking with Mr Nice Guy

I met Aditya Ganjoo for the first time last Saturday morning at a Full House meeting. For him, it was 9:30PM local time in New Delhi and he was attending his first ML event. He engaged with authenticity and vulnerability.…
March 15, 2023
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Welcome, Pain.

Community Member, Martin McLeish, shares his experiences participating in the Self-Compassion Small Batch. The ice exercise he references at the beginning of the piece requires the participant to hold a piece of ice until the pain becomes unbearable and then invites…
March 7, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Reciprocity

A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation with Michael Pealow, a social innovation consultant working with Indigenous men in the Yukon. He shared with me that he subscribes to a “mind model” that views everything as energy,…
March 1, 2023
BlogMasculinity

Why Boys Stop Reading?

Writer, Matt Haig, posted this piece on his Instagram. I wanted to share his interesting data and perspective. Thoughts? At age 11, most boys enjoy reading. By 14 that drops from 65% to 32%. In other words, we lose half…
February 22, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

Purpose?

Over the last week, I have found myself in multiple conversations about purpose. First, Chris Lozier and I interviewed Nico Lagan for an upcoming episode of our podcast, If You’ve Come This Far. Nico is “a men's coach, an entrepreneur,…
February 15, 2023
BlogMasculinity

Macho, Macho Man

A couple of days ago, my friend, Chris, and I were talking about the construction industry. I had recently learned that our friend, Paul Sullivan, Founder of Company of Dads, had been interviewed on the “Mothers in Construction” podcast. An…
February 8, 2023
BlogMen's Health

Meet Guy Fitzgerald

Starting today, we will be adding a Healthy Tip of The Week to our weekly email. Given our vision of a world of healthy, intentional, connected men, we thought it was appropriate to talk about health (physical and mental) on…
February 1, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

All the Light I Need

In his latest Monster Whisperer video, Jimmy Talarico introduces one of his art pieces, entitled “All the Light I Need,” to make a point about moving out of the darkness and into the light. I was immediately attracted to this…
January 25, 2023
BlogMasculinity

Jobs Wanted

On Tuesday’s episode of Zen Parenting Radio, a podcast cohosted by our Executive Director, Todd Adams and his wife, Cathy, the Adams talked about her mom’s recent passing (Judy Cassani passed away on January 9th…Condolences, Cathy 🙏). During the discussion,…
January 18, 2023
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

Sexual Creative Energy

I am a big fan of Conscious Leadership Group (CLG). CLG is run by Jim Dethmer (you can listen to Jim on our podcast here) and Diana Chapman. MenLiving’s 5 Suggestions are influenced by the work of CLG. One of…
January 11, 2023
BlogLiving IntentionallyPersonal Growth

Top 5

My good friend, Tommy Skelly, will often proclaim that some thing or event is in his "Top 5." For example, Top 5 Root Beer Floats, Top 5 Golf Courses, Top 5 Bus Rides, or Top 5 Showers (for pressure). So…
January 4, 2023
BlogLiving Intentionally

The Clock (s) Are Ticking.

“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.”  Stephen Vincent Benet   I find our culture’s “end of year” energy interesting. The mass media has…
December 28, 2022
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Loving

I just completed Matthew Quick’s new novel, We Are The Light (WATL), in preparation for our interview with him for our podcast, If You’ve Come This Far. You might know Matthew as the author of The Silver Linings Playbook, an…
December 21, 2022
BlogMasculinity

Good, Good, Good?

I subscribe to the good good good newspaper. According to their website, Good Good Good is the media company that helps you feel more hopeful and do more good. I am all in on feeling more hopeful and having more…
December 14, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

Life is Full of Challengeable Moments???

The National Football League has a rule called the Coaches’ Challenge. The Challenge works as follows: In each game, a team will be permitted two challenges that will initiate Instant Replay reviews. The Head Coach will initiate a challenge by…
November 30, 2022
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Holly…A Love Story

Community Member, Martin McLeish, shares a story of struggle, love and living in the moment. November 1987 “Fuck it”, I said. I had had enough. I was the explosives guy at the Silver lake Mine in the Kalgoorlie area. This…
November 30, 2022
BlogConnection

Better Than A Gratitude Rock

On this day before Thanksgiving, I am thinking I suppose appropriately about gratitude. But I am thinking about it in a little more twisted way than you might expect. In the information diet that I choose to consume, I see…
November 23, 2022
Blog

My One for the World Story

I’m a senior in college, living in Durango, Colorado, and grew up in a nice suburb of Chicago. I have a loving family, I’ve always had a warm bed to sleep, more food than I need, and have the privilege…
November 23, 2022
BlogMasculinity

Short King or Daddy Long Legs?

I recently read that the new UK Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak, is regarded as a Short King (he's 5' 7"). Short King? I had never heard the term before though I had a pretty good idea what it was all…
November 16, 2022
BlogConnectionMeet MenLiving

Introducing MenLiving Connect

My first friend that I remember was Sean Fitzpatrick. Second Grade. Sean and I were on the nerdy side. Studious. We liked books. It’s possible we were drawn together by our same first name, but I don’t recall how big…
November 9, 2022
BlogMasculinity

“He Was A Man”

On July 31, Bill Russell died at the age of 88. He was a once in a generation athlete known primarily for his time as the center of the Boston Celtics collecting 11 NBA titles in 13 seasons. I grew…
November 2, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

BEING

A piece from Bob McKinnon.  He is a writer, designer, podcast host, children’s author and teacher. Last week, I took a few minutes to create a list of all the major things I’ve done professionally so far this year. While…
October 26, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

MenLiving Thought Leader: An Interview with Dr. Frank Keil on Wonder

In this edition of the MenLiving Thought Leader Series, Patrick NcKenna interviews Dr. Frank Keil, Professor of Cognitive Science and Director of the Cognition and Development Lab at Yale University, and author of the book, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science.…
October 19, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Intentionally

MenLiving wants to see a world of healthy, intentional, connected men. To make that vision a reality, we create spaces where men can connect, heal, and thrive. We also offer simple suggestions for how they might live life more fully.…
October 19, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Candidly

MenLiving wants to see a world of healthy, intentional, connected men. To make that vision a reality, we create spaces where men can connect, heal, and thrive. We also offer simple suggestions for how they might live life more fully.…
October 11, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Emotionally

MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
October 4, 2022
BlogMasculinity

The Crisis of Men and Boys

I am a fan of David Brooks and have been reading his New York Time column for a long time. Last Friday, he posted the following piece on the struggles of boys and men in our society. Most of the…
October 4, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Curiously

MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
September 27, 2022
BlogMental Health

Saved by Loving Kindness

A couple of weeks ago, Todd Adams, MenLiving's Executive Director, sent a video to contributing members sharing news on the suicide ideation training MenLiving facilitators completed with NAMI. In response, Martin McLeish sent the following note... About fifteen years after…
September 27, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Suggestions for Living Fully: Live Consciously

MenLiving isn’t about creeds or gurus or judgments. Still, we believe that some approaches to life can lead to greater contentment. With that objective in mind, we created a list of 5 suggestions for living more fully for your consideration, hopeful that…
September 21, 2022
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving evolving…

MenLiving exists because men are bad at friendship, the lack of friendship leads to greater levels of anxiety, depression and death, and men die earlier than women, and at an ever-increasing rate, by their own hand. Some might suggest or…
September 13, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Redefining Sensitivity As An Essential Trait in Boys: MenLiving Speaks with Writer Elisse Gabriel

The ways that word association and the assumptions that may follow interact with each other have always had cultural meaning behind it. When we hear words like "joy" and "sadness," they usually bring clear understanding of what’s happening. Using the…
September 6, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

What Makes us Happy and What Fills Our Heart Most: An Interview about Life and Fulfilling Relationships with Dr. Belinda Campos

Being able to combine lived experiences with your life’s work is a gift not all of us in the world get to have. For Dr. Belinda Campos, who is a professor in the Department of Chicano/Latino Studies at the University…
August 24, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

Self-Acceptance, Self-Love, Integrating All Parts of Myself

Author: Dan Silberberg Carl Jung and Joseph Conrad are inextricably bound in "The Hero's Journey". For me, the "false self", the mask I use to be lovable, to be acceptable to others, and to project myself into the world has…
August 17, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Mentorship, Affirming Education and Changing the World for the Better: MenLiving Speaks with Louie Ortiz-Fonseca of Advocates for Youth

Louie Ortiz-Fonseca knows how great it feels when a mentor sees potential in someone and helps grow and blossom that potential, almost like a beautiful plant that takes time and care. Ortiz-Fonseca, who considers themselves “a child by nonprofits,” has…
August 9, 2022
BlogMen's Health

Eight Foods to Supercharge a Man’s Health

This Fitbit blog post from Australian Joel Feren was in my feed yesterday and it intrigued me. I am usually not one for random list blogs, but I was thinking about men's health and it hit me at the right…
August 3, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

The Strides Made and the Work Ahead: Celebrating Bernice Sandler and the Fight for Title IX, 50 Years Later

Telling the story of one of the biggest civil rights leaders in the history of the U.S. is no easy feat. Being able to tell that story in a fascinating, digestible way for young teenage readers can be even more…
July 26, 2022
BlogConnection

The Sweet Aroma of Friendship

I live with the perspective that we humans are just animals with consciousness and that consciousness can be good and bad for us. For this piece, I am not going to share any deep philosophical explanation  about the merits of this…
July 20, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

How Seeking Out Fun Can Bring Fulfillment, Increase Productivity and Keep You Healthy: MenLiving Speaks with Dr. Mike Rucker

You’ve most likely heard how the old proverb goes: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” The exact origins aren’t known, but the saying first appeared in James Howell’s “Proverbs in English, Italian, French and Spanish” in…
July 5, 2022
BlogMasculinity

Men Leaning In

I was on the phone with some buddies the other day- 3 days after the historic overturn of Roe V Wade.  Although I found myself thinking quite a bit over the SCOTUS decision, we did not talk about it.  Instead,…
June 29, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Teaching Ethics, Integrity and Healthy Masculinity While Still Remembering Kids are Kids in 2022: MenLiving Speaks with Two Chicago Educators

The job of teaching teenagers is no easy feat. It can be frustrating and exhausting for both new and well-seasoned educators. But for Brandon Woods and Jonathon Legendre, it’s all part of the process of helping develop young minds, with…
June 21, 2022
BlogFamilyMasculinity

Reflections on Fatherhood

Being a father to a child can mean so many things to different people. As Father’s Day approaches, MenLiving wanted to highlight what fatherhood means to some of the dads in our community. Get ready to smile, feel inspired or…
June 15, 2022
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

MenLiving Emotionally…A Repost

I am a big fan of Matt Haig and his writing. He is most recently known for the NYT Best Seller, The Midnight Library. I could list the books of his I recommend, but that would be a waste. I…
June 7, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Living Boldly and Consciously: How Two Entrepreneurs Are Changing the Way Consumers Make Sustainable Purchases

When the pandemic first began in the spring of 2020 and the impact of lockdown was hitting, people found lots of different ways to occupy their time. Some got into knitting, some became sourdough breadmaking aficionados, and some used the…
May 31, 2022
Blog

People Like People

I recently read a profile on Brandon Stanton, the founder of the Humans of New York. The reporter writes, “the more stories of uplift he posted, the more people craved them. His most devoted followers, he said, who showed up…
May 25, 2022
BlogMasculinity

Beauty is (crepey)skin deep

The other day I was in a downward dog, and I took note of the “loose” skin on my thighs right above my knees. My wife is often talking about “crepey” skin, and I am covered with it. Up and…
May 18, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

How Processing Grief Can Lead to More Authentic Connections: Andrea Dorn on Writing About Loss for Children, The Power of Mindfulness and Embracing those Tough, Sad Feelings

By Patrick McKenna Andrea Dorn never expected to become an author, let alone a non-fiction children’s books. But as someone who was always creative and had a career of experience as a clinical social worker, the pieces of the puzzle…
May 11, 2022
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

Men Who Love Men

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from Barry Schoenfeld from the California Community of Men. As I subsequently learned when I connected with Barry, he was doing “competitive research” when he came upon MenLiving. Curious, he signed…
May 4, 2022
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

The Games Men Play

I love to play games - basketball, pickleball, golf, you name it. But when it comes to friendship with men, games become more challenging to play. Typically, games have rules to follow that make the game fun, but with male…
April 27, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Teaching Advocacy and Acceptance: Chris Tompkins on Talking to Your Kids, Not Making Assumptions and His Book Raising LGBTQ Allies

Author Patrick McKenna When Chris Tompkins realized there was a missing conversation happening with his own family, he felt the need to not just broaden their view on LGBTQ topics, but to do so with families everywhere. This put him…
April 19, 2022
BlogFamilyPodcast

Special Stuff….Zen Parenting Radio Episode #644

We are big fans of Zen Parenting Radio (and not because our ED is one of the cohosts!). From time to time, we highlight an episode that resonates with us. In Support Them from the Outside- Podcast #644,Todd and Cathy…
April 19, 2022
BlogPodcast

IYCTF Episode 10: Ben Feller

MenLiving presents If You've Come This Far. IYCTF is a podcast where Shaun Emerson and Chris Lozier aim simply to have authentic conversations with interesting people about what they do to make life more fulfilling and more impactful, and they…
April 13, 2022
BlogLearning

Ramadan

Author: Mouhsine Adnani At MenLiving, we value curiosity and a desire to better understand the perspectives and cultures of other human beings. We are currently in the middle of Ramadan, and in the spirit of better understanding, MenLiving member Mouhsine…
April 12, 2022
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

A Shocking Revelation

Check out this study from 2014… Researchers at University of Virginia and Harvard University ran a series of 11 studies and found that participants from a range of ages generally did not enjoy spending even brief periods of time alone…
April 6, 2022
BlogMasculinity

React or Respond

On Oscar night, after what’s now being referred to as “the slap”, I posted this to the Men Living page: So many thoughts … The idea that a slap to the face is the way to resolve conflict is exactly…
March 30, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

“Healing is a Marathon” How Christopher LeMark is Breaking Down Barriers and Normalizing Therapy, One Cup of Coffee at a Time

Christopher LeMark’s path to healing has been a difficult, involving self-examination and learning give himself the space to process and restore his mental wellness. For him, it’s been a marathon, not a sprint. While on this journey, he felt like…
March 16, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

The Work

I am a big fan of Byron Katie and her work, The Work. If you are familiar with her, feel free to skip to the “Katie and her work resonates with me” for the big payoff 😏. If you are…
March 2, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Finding the Courage to Love Yourself and Your Identity, Fully: Dr. Stacee Reicherzer Speaks with MenLiving

Dr. Stacee Reicherzer knows exactly who she is and what makes her sparkle. But it wasn’t an easy road to get to self-discovery. Growing up queer and transgender in South Texas, she faced plenty of bullying and traumatic experiences for…
February 28, 2022
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Hold My Hand

In 2106, the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams published The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. It was a book based on Archbishop Tutu’s visit to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to…
February 15, 2022
BlogLiterature

5:15

5:15 is story from Ryan Bayron's first book, Gummy Bears for the Soul: A Collection of Life Lessons That Are Easy To Chew But Hard To Digest As Told Through A Cacophony of Stories About My Dad That Are Definitely All…
February 8, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

Metaverse, Shmetaverse

This picture above is of me. Rather, my Bitmoji. I hope you’ll recognize me in case we meet up in the “metaverse.” Have you been reading about the metaverse? It is a term first coined by Neal Stephenson in his…
February 2, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

The Unending Quest for Happiness: Why Authentic Connection May Be The Answer You’re Missing

When Ruth Whippman, author of the New York Times Editor’s Choice book “America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks,” was asked why embracing negative emotions is actually a good thing, she said…
January 31, 2022
BlogFamilyLiving Intentionally

Zen Parenting: A Q&A with Cathy Cassani Adams

On February 1st, MenLiving "extended" family member, Cathy Cassani Adams (she is our ED's wife 😉) wil release her latest book, Zen Parenting. By the title, you might think this book is just about parenting (because it is in the title…
January 26, 2022
BlogFamily

How to Relax Relationship Tension, and Get Your Life Back on Track Fast

Guest Author: Steve Srotir Does your relationship feel like a stretched rubber band that’s about to snap? Leaving you stressed, confused, and wondering... How did you get here? What do you do next? Me too… Been there done, done that.…
January 19, 2022
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Getting Intimate

On Friday, Patrick McKenna and I were collaborating on a communication piece to welcome new men connecting with MenLiving for the first time. In the initial draft, Patrick included a sentence about small batches. It read, “Small Batches are more intimate…
January 12, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Making Mental Health a Fitness Routine: Blake Reichenbach Talks About The Intersection of Media, Body Image and Men’s Physical and Mental Wellness.

Before Blake Reichenbach founded the publication, Self-Himprovement, he felt frustrated with the content he was being paid to create as a freelance writer. So the writer created his own website where he had the freedom to create the content he…
January 6, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

Numbers & Labels

I just finished reading, The Every, by Dave Eggers. The novel is basically about a monopoly tech company that dominates humanity and a woman's efforts to destroy it. In the book, the Every introduces (among many other things) two apps,…
January 5, 2022
BlogThought Leader Interview

Taking Off the Shield and Raising Boys to Be Emotionally Connected: Dr. Michael Reichert Speaks with MenLiving

Patrick McKenna Dr. Michael Reichert has made a lifelong career out of helping young boys get in touch with their emotions and unlearn harmful ideas around masculinity. He’s an author, psychologist and Executive Director of the Center for the Study…
January 4, 2022
BlogLiving Intentionally

A Radical Blog Post

Radical New Paradigm. Radical Candor. Radical Acceptance. Radical Friendship. Radical Parenting. Radical Transparency. Radical Masculinity. Radical Rest (Huh??). These noun phrases are just a small sample of what seems to be a fascination with the radical modifier these days. Are…
December 29, 2021
BlogConnection

Friendships of Character

Over the last year, I have used this space to share my thoughts on relationships and friendships. Today, I am sharing with you an excerpt from an interview between David Brooks, the New York Times columnist, and ethicist, Leon Kass. In this…
December 21, 2021
BlogMasculinity

The Incredible Shrinking Man (or part of the Man)

Growing up, I visited with both sets of grandparents often. Without fail, every time I would enter my Nana Emerson’s house, she would give me a big hug and exclaim, “Oh, Shaun, you are getting so big, and I am…
December 15, 2021
BlogConnection

Circles of Friendship

Shaun Emerson Robin Dunbar, the evolutionary psychologist, is best known for his namesake “Dunbar’s number,” which he defines as the number of stable relationships people are able to maintain at once. (The proposed number is 150.) But in a new book…
November 24, 2021
BlogMeet MenLiving

I highly recommend “If You’ve Come This Far” (especially episode 1)!

Todd Adams MenLiving has grown quite a bit in its offerings in the last few years. We began as a group of men coming to my living room once a month to have an authentic discussion and has evolved into…
November 9, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Divine Medicine

Guest Author: David Young Being human is a gift, but all too often is a painful and lonely one.  Unresolved pain is trauma of spirit and flesh. Chronic suffering emboldens the lure of addictive and numbing aspects of social media, violence, greed,…
November 2, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

hot sauce on ice cream

I like hot sauce / spicy stuff, and I've historically felt constrained by just whether or not the thing is "already spicy".  I've been getting joy lately by figuring out how to make my food spicy, whether it was intended…
November 2, 2021
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

The Other Day…

The other day, during a rather tense discussion my wife and I were having…(okay, it devolved into an argument…let me be honest here), it turned from the topic we were “discussing” to how I’m difficult to communicate with.  This led me…
October 27, 2021
BlogUncategorized

Cacao

Guest Author: David Young Cacao is served worldwide, often at empathogenic and entheogenic medicine ceremonies, yoga/tantric/breathwork/meditation sessions, and many other gatherings. It is easy for anyone to enjoy themselves at home and it can strengthen relationships especially if enjoyed as a…
October 19, 2021
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

How To Not Be Perfect (What’s Shame Got To Do With It?)

Erik Treese & Joey Cardella   Spoiler alert: This blog post is about shame.   Ugh.  Cool topic, bro.   Bear with me though.   Here I am, alone in the living room of my 1 BR apartment, having a moment where I…
October 19, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

POWER

Take a moment and think of what comes to mind when you see the word POWER.   Try saying it aloud.  What do you associate with the word?  If you have pen and paper handy, jot down a couple words that come…
October 13, 2021
BlogLiterature

The Kingdom of the Royal Children

John Natoli Once upon a time, in an age before memory, there was a kingdom ruled by a greedy and suspicious king. His every moment was overpowered by fears of intrigue and betrayal. He held all his many possessions under…
October 12, 2021
BlogMeet MenLiving

Who are we?

I co-founded a men’s group with Frank Naugo in March of 2012. We invited a few friends into my living room to come together for a conversation.  They didn’t really know what they were getting into and neither did we, but…
October 5, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Just Say it

How are you as a communicator? Do you talk about the things that are hard to talk about? This question has been front and center for me lately. My thinking on the matter has been spurred by the last two MenLiving…
September 29, 2021
BlogThought Leader Interview

Interrupting the Story: How Survivor Mark Meier Turned his Fight Against Depression into a Fight for Men’s Mental Health

After battling depression and anxiety for many years, Mark Meier almost lost his own life to suicide. The pain and mental instability he had struggled with for so long almost pushed him over the edge, but the cry from his…
September 26, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityFamily

Being Not Right is Uneasily Done

It’s hard to not be right. In much of our lives, it’s quite important, if not imperative to be right.  If your tax accountant, dentist, plumber or air traffic controller gets it wrong, there can be severe consequences.  If you show up…
September 22, 2021
Blog

Last Week in Texas

When I heard the news last week about the law that passed in Texas, I said to myself “That’s wrong and I wish that law didn’t pass.”  I then went on with the rest of my day without giving it much…
September 8, 2021
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Gazing

I was zooming the other day and noticing, at a particular angle, an emerging turkey neck. This development fits nicely with no hair (except in my ears and nose!), muscle deterioration and crepey (more like creepy) skin. At 58, my…
August 25, 2021
BlogFamilyLiving Intentionally

Peach Pie Party

As a student of Life and someone who’s passionate about learning how to more fully participate, engage and grow in my everyday existence, I have learned to seek out and “pool” my resources.  Teacher resources that is.  I lean on myself and…
August 18, 2021
BlogThought Leader Interview

MenLiving Thought Leaders: An Interview with Andrew Smiler, PhD.

In his second entry to the MenLiving Thought Leader series, Patrick interviews Dr. Andrew Smiler. Dr Smiler is an author and licensed therapist with expertise in adolescent boys, men, and masculinity. He is the author of “Is Masculinity Toxic?: A…
August 16, 2021
BlogConnection

Courage to Connect

On Monday, I participated in a call with MenLiving member, Tony Schmidt, and Dr. Daniel Ellenberg. Dr. Ellenberg, is a psychotherapist, marriage and relationship therapist, author, and facilitator. He has been leading men’s groups for over 30 years and is the…
August 11, 2021
BlogFamilyMasculinity

Initiations

There are plenty of emotional moments in This is Us, one of the many reasons it’s my favorite show. But one scene in particular choked me up, when Randall, then a 9-year-old boy, was in his karate class with his father observing…
August 3, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityFamily

Speak to the hurt and locate it.

My kids are going through a phase where they seem to want MOM all the time.  The fact is they don’t want her all of the time, but the percentage is pretty high and I did state it “seems” like all…
July 28, 2021
Uncategorized

2022 MenLiving Weekend

https://player.vimeo.com/video/579994875 MenLiving - Unplug, Unwind and Recharge from Shaun Emerson on Vimeo.
July 28, 2021
BlogLiterature

Man has intuition (An original poem by John Natoli)

Man has intuition too,  We carry it boiling in our belly  A hot coal that won't extinguish It bubbles over in rage or suspicion Its vapor clouds our vision Sizzling whispered lies of ineptitude, inadequacy  Sometimes, when we open our…
July 13, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Sweatpants

Dan Shea is a a dear friend of mine. I love him. Today, I am going to tell you a nice story about a good man doing a good thing. Maybe we all could do one good thing today, too. …
July 7, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Traffic

I drove to Detroit yesterday to meet with some customers, and while on I94 East, I ran into a bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. Teeth clenched… Grrrrr.  Cue the inner dialogue: What’s going on up there?  Where are all these people going in…
June 30, 2021
BlogThought Leader Interview

An Interview with Andrew Reiner

Andrew Reiner has been interested in challenging the tropes of modern day hypermasculinity since his teenage years. After becoming a father, the research he had been doing for years felt even more urgently needed. That, matched with the reception he…
June 24, 2021
BlogMeet MenLiving

Not Voted Off This Island

A neighbor and I used to get together to drink wine and discuss philosophy. (Now and then, we talked about roofing companies and battery-powered lawnmowers, too.) Brad’s an economics professor who spends much of life in a world of numbers.…
June 22, 2021
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

If only people would behave the way I want them to…

I recently had a conversation with a member of our Executive Team at work regarding the transition of fully remote, work from home to working back in the office.  Of course, as things begin to open up here in Illinois and…
June 16, 2021
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Brothers…Sisters

For a little more than a year, I have gathered virtually with many of the men on this distribution list for meaningful connection. Some weeks, I connect with you multiple times: in big groups, small groups and one on one.…
June 9, 2021
BlogConnection

Brother.

Brother is a song by LA indie rock band Lord Huron. It means a lot to me and if you know the song it might mean a lot to you as well. If this post is your first exposure to…
June 2, 2021
BlogMental Health

Part III: Finding Love & Acceptance-Living with Bipolar Disorder

I chose to share my story through this blog series for many reasons. Since 2017, nearly every person that’s come into my life on a meaningful level knows about my experiences with mental illness. Whether it's a new coworker, someone…
May 25, 2021
BlogLearning

WHY?

Thankfully, my thirst for and commitment to learning never ceases.  By now, I sometimes wish I were further along in my knowledge and understanding but I guess we all learn at a different pace and in our own way.  Take for instance the “learning” of potty training…
May 19, 2021
BlogMental Health

Part II: Finding Love & Acceptance-Living with Bipolar Disorder

Waking up in the behavioral health unit of a hospital was a surreal, humbling experience. There's often a tendency to think you’re above those who are struggling harder than you are -- it was hard to accept that I could be…
May 19, 2021
BlogMental Health

Finding Love & Acceptance: Living with Bipolar Disorder

Hi, I’m Patrick.  I’m about to do what I feel that I do best. I’m going to tell the story of my life and experiences living with a mood disorder. It’s an abbreviated version of the rollercoaster ride of the…
May 12, 2021
BlogFamily

11 Mistakes

I’m 19 years into my marriage and I don’t pretend to be an expert. However, I know my foundation is solid and will endure the test of time. Mostly because when I screw up, I do my best to learn…
May 5, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Birding is a lot like personal growth work.

I’m lying in bed (in my camper) unable to sleep and all of a sudden I hear it.  “Who cooks for you?  Who cooks for you-all?”   Who cooks for you?  Who cooks for you-aaaaall?” The amazing, distinctive call of the Barred Owl.  Undeniable.  And, thrilling…
April 28, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Be-Do-Have

"We don't see the world as it is; we see it as we are"― Anaïs Nin.  What does this quote open up your awareness to? Can you reflect on an experience that might bring it alive? Perhaps if it has some…
April 21, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

There’s this dance…

There’s this dance of BEing in the present moment AND creating your future.   Oh this dance can be a graceful waltz or a rough krump battle.  It can be carefully choreographed or made up on the spot and improvised.   How to…
April 14, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Spiritual Bypass or Letting Go

Over the last couple of weeks, it has been suggested to me that I may be a “spiritual bypasser.” Do you know this term? From Wikipedia, “Spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing…
April 7, 2021
BlogMasculinity

“She did all the things”

I wrote this post today so you will see this one phrase. And if you decide to read this post, I hope this one phrase sticks to you: “She did all the things.” In yesterday’s episode of Zen Parenting Radio,…
March 24, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Questions of Leadership

My company recently administered a leadership assessment (test) for a cross section of employees.  The Sales Management team (of which I’m a part) was reviewing the assessment of an individual in our organization we’ve deemed ready to be in a Leadership…
March 17, 2021
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Zoom or not to Zoom

As of yesterday, 92M Americans had been vaccinated. The new President has stated that there will be enough vaccinations for every American by the end of May. Cubs and Sox will let fans in the parks. I am getting a…
March 10, 2021
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

It’s Not How, It’s Where

Every day I ask men, “How are you doing?” Usually I get a response like, “fine” or “good”, but that’s not really what I’m looking for. A better way to phrase the question is, “How are you feeling?”   When guys…
March 2, 2021
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Conflict

Conflict.   Take a moment and ponder this word.  What are your thoughts and beliefs about it? What comes up for you when see and put your attention towards it?   Perhaps say it aloud.  Conflict.   Any body sensations? How do you feel when…
February 24, 2021
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Alone not Lonely

I like being alone. There are many activities I would prefer to do solo, but I don’t often get the chance. I am rarely alone. I think I decided long ago that engaging others would lead to a more fruitful…
February 17, 2021
BlogLiving Intentionally

Forward!

I found my answer when I was thumbing through Walden by Thoreau the other day.   I’d been working through a couple of weeks of being in some sort of a “funk”.  This somber tone edging up to a low-grade depressed state.  This…
February 10, 2021
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Sleeping, Working, and Leisuring

Every year, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics surveys how Americans spend their time. The latest results are from the 2019 study. The chart below depicts average hours per day spent in selected activities in total and then for men…
February 3, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

People Don’t Care About Me (Why That’s Good News)

A good chunk of my day is spent seeking out approval of others.  It pains me (and is slightly embarrassing) to admit, but it’s the truth. Three examples: I do pushups and jog regularly - partially to clear my head and…
January 26, 2021
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

“I’m right, you’re wrong”

On a recent Sunday, while engaging in some early morning contemplation time, humor and laughter came to mind.  I was reminded of a couple recent experiences I had related to the topic.  First, I watched comedian Russell Howard interview Matthew McConaughey.  In…
January 19, 2021
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Performing or Living?

Last August, Pete Hamill, the New York City journalist, novelist, essayist and editor died. Over the years, I had read several of his newspaper pieces and had always intended on reading some of his longer works. News of his death…
January 5, 2021
BlogConnectionMeet MenLiving

Dancing Through COVID

https://youtu.be/Nb5nvN4iuvg The pandemic swept through the world with tragic consequences. Through the adversity and pain, emerged some normalcy, some joy. Watch MenLiving Board Member, Edward Gudas, his wife Laurie and daughters Kalina and Lainie dance and sing their way through…
December 29, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

I Love Awkward!

Every Saturday, for years, I have read Peggy Noonan’s Declarations column in the Wall Street Journal. Last Saturday, Peggy was writing as always about politics, the country and not too surprisingly COVID and the vaccine. Towards the end of the…
December 24, 2020
BlogLiving Intentionally

Bow…then clean your closet

Often, there’s a tape playing inside my head that says, “You’re not doing enough."   This tape can continually run if I don’t stop and bring my awareness to it.  Sometimes I’ll catch myself in these moments and either internally or by physically…
December 16, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

The GOAT and The Kiss

I grew up outside of Boston, but I have now been in the Midwest for almost 20 years longer than I was in New England. And despite my move, I have maintained my allegiance to Boston’s sports franchises. A loyalty…
December 9, 2020
BlogLiving Intentionally

Living Intentional

“How was your day?”  “Pretty good.  How was yours?”  Sound familiar?  It does to me.  Honestly, I get tired of hearing myself reply in that way with such regularity.  Now, don’t get me wrong, “pretty good” is pretty good these days.  My wife is asking me about my…
December 2, 2020
BlogMeet MenLiving

Ruminating…

I have been ruminating about our organization’s new name, MenLiving. As you can see, we eliminated the space between Men and Living to create the name and logo. My contemplation led me to wonder what if we added the space…
November 25, 2020
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving – same game, different name

Back when I established my first “men’s group” in 2008, I personally invited a handful of men to join me in forming a thing I had little knowledge about, much less a plan for.  Because they trusted me (I suppose) a…
November 17, 2020
BlogMasculinity

Heads You Win…?

For years, I have been receiving Fortune’s daily email, TermSheet. TermSheet provides a summary of the previous day’s venture capital and private equity deals.  A few weeks ago, I read this: Numan, a UK-based online health clinic for men just raised…
November 10, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

“Don’t Know” Mind

I am creating this post on Tuesday afternoon prior to polls closing. I was going to write about men’s health, but figured it would be a little numb not to share something that is born from an election that is…
November 3, 2020
BlogMeet MenLiving

Intentional Movement with Charlie Rogers

https://vimeo.com/472018023
October 27, 2020
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Music Hour 10-26-20

https://vimeo.com/472644124
October 27, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

The Trials of a Rule Follower

I continue to learn things about myself.  At 47 yrs old, I’m sometimes surprised to find there’s more here to discover.   This summer my family and I went to visit my parent home in Michigan.  It just so happened that they were…
October 20, 2020
BlogLiteratureMeet MenLiving

Poems

The topic of our September 30th Chicago meeting was Cultivating Creativity. Mike Rosen and Todd Adams wrote a couple great poems about their MenLiving experience. We Gather- Mike Rosen Under the timeless glow of an autumn moon We gather Not…
October 14, 2020
Craig Dooley MenLiving Member
BlogMasculinityMeet MenLiving

What is a “regular” guy?

To start, this is a picture of my friend, Craig Dooley. He is a wonderful man. I texted him last night to let him know that I would be writing about him. I think he might be surprised by the…
October 7, 2020
Uncategorized

IMC Thursday 10-1-20

https://vimeo.com/464768873 https://vimeo.com/464768749 https://vimeo.com/464768700 https://vimeo.com/464768498
October 4, 2020
BlogFamily

Creatively Yours

There are at least as many ways in which parenting is wonderful as it is challenging.   My kids teach me things almost daily (I’m guessing you can relate).  Their wisdom catches me off guard sometimes and I’m stuck sitting there dumbfounded,…
September 29, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityMasculinity

Vulnerability, Leadership, and Masculinity

In recent days, we have witnessed a high profile microcosm of the struggle in which our men’s group and we have been engaged for nearly a decade. The arena was no less than the National Football League, the most popular…
September 22, 2020
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityFamilyMasculinity

The Most Important Work You Can Do Right Now.

A while back, I conducted an initial therapy session with a family: Mom, Dad and sixteen-year-old son. Let’s call him James. Mom and son sat on the couch, dad on an adjacent chair. The presenting issue was the son’s disrespect…
September 16, 2020
BlogConnectionEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

You know what assuming does…

As I was finishing up a run in the forest preserve yesterday I noticed an older woman walking with 2 plastic bags towards the woods.  Wait, is that my neighbor from across the street?  She was a ways away from me but…
September 8, 2020
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

Am I going to start crying?

Last night I was sitting alone on my back deck on a beautiful summer night and was a little beat down from a long week.  I listened to some soft music (Natalie Merchant) and just sat there.  I began thinking…
September 1, 2020
BlogLiving Intentionally

Just Sitting

I am 57 years old. Let’s say for the simplicity of round numbers, adulthood starts at 17. Therefore, I have been an “adult” for 40 years (damn!). For the first 30 of those adult years, I was a workaholic, mostly…
August 26, 2020
Blog

Beauty or Utility?

After I’m done with the workday, I generally go out for a stroll through the neighborhood to unwind, get some fresh air and move my bones.   One of the things I enjoy doing on these walks is to check out…
August 18, 2020
BlogConnection

Honest Human Relationships

About 3 or 4 years ago, I attended my first MenLiving meeting. Today, I am MenLiving’s Board President and a very involved day to day volunteer. But, honestly, I’m still not particularly comfortable with the concepts of traditional “men’s work,”…
August 12, 2020
BlogLiving Intentionally

Everything is Possible

I’m lying in bed at 4 o’clock am thinking of how things could have gone better in our Sales and Customer Service Coordination meeting today - that’s never a good thing…OR, could it be?  I’m reminded of what this meeting is…
August 4, 2020
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Cry, of course!

This past Saturday, to open up our Board of Directors' meeting for MenLiving, we checked-in with naming a man or men that inspire us or is part of the “why” we do this work.  It happened to be a rather impromptu…
July 29, 2020
BlogConnection

Artistry and Play

Do you consider yourself an artist?   What is the first type of art that you hold yourself up against when trying to answer that question?  Or, did you immediately answer “no”?  If I weren’t asking the questions here, I would have probably answered…
July 22, 2020
BlogConnectionLiving Intentionally

Dog Paddling

Last week, I was hanging by the pool with my wife and 26 year old daughter when my daughter suggested we have a doggy paddle “competition.” I was reading a book at the time so wasn’t particularly interested. They weren’t…
July 15, 2020
BlogLiving IntentionallyMasculinity

The Qualities of a Gentleman

I wanted to share a blog post I wrote over 9 years ago. The point was and is not political. The point was and is aspirational. On February 15th, President Obama honored 15 individuals at the annual Presidential Medal of…
July 1, 2020
Blog

Carrying Within

Recently, spurred on by what’s been happening in this country since George Floyd’s death, we’ve been immersed in several discussions centered around systemic racism in this country and what impact that has on black and brown skinned people and all…
June 23, 2020
BlogMeet MenLiving

Finding Harmony

Breathe in… To live in a more harmonious world by deepening connections amongst men Breathe out… These prompts are reminders for me, as much if not more than, they are for anyone reading this.   Between breaths is our vision for…
June 10, 2020
Blog

A Tragic Death and the Memory of a Missed Opportunity

By now you’ve hopefully heard the story of how George Floyd’s life ended.  I am deeply saddened, angered and disappointed to learn of yet another black man’s life ending prematurely and in such a brutal and senseless way.  He was murdered by…
June 2, 2020
MenLiving 2019 Impact
Blog

MenLiving Impact 2019

See the impact the MenLiving made in 2019.
March 9, 2020
MenLiving Life is Unfair Post
BlogFamily

Life is Unfair

I had a rather unusual Friday night.  It was unusual because I was home all by myself.  I had worked from home and my wife had taken the kids to an early evening "play date" after picking my oldest up…
February 25, 2020
Todd Adams and Frank Naugo Meet the MenLiving
BlogMeet MenLiving

Meet MenLiving: MenLiving Co-Founders Todd Adams and Frank Naugo

Meet the Tribe is an ongoing blog post providing more insight into the men who are members of our community. In our inaugural post, we introduce you to Shaun Emerson
December 19, 2019
BlogLiving Intentionally

Disprove Your Story…by golly

One of the great things for me about exercise, especially the kind that is somewhat monotonous, or rather, "trance-like" (as is the case with running) is how it allows my mind to move in ways it otherwise wouldn't.  Both biking and running…
November 18, 2019
BlogMeet MenLiving

How MenLiving Changed My Life

Fast forward to today, and here we are. I’m sober, and I wish I could go back to talk to the 34-year-old version of me. Among the many things I’d say is that this group can change you. I’m blessed…
November 6, 2019
BlogMeet MenLiving

Meet MenLiving: Shaun Emerson

Meet the Tribe is an ongoing blog post providing more insight into the men who are members of our community. In our inaugural post, we introduce you to Shaun Emerson
November 5, 2019
Father playing with kids asking Am I enough
BlogLiving Intentionally

Am I enough in this life?

Am I enough in this life? Musings and contemplations to help me better understand myself and how I'm spending my time to make the best of this precious life.
October 16, 2019
BlogEmotional VulnerabilityLiving Intentionally

A Glimpse of Understanding

I am visiting my brother who lives in Snoqualmie, WA which is about 30 minutes east of Seattle. After dropping off my 16-year-old daughter off for a lunch date, I had about an hour to kill so I decided to…
August 5, 2019
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving 2.0 Update

MenLiving men’s group is excited to announce its new status as a not for profit organization!  The current group began February 2012 in Todd’s living room with a few others longing for authentic conversation and connection amongst men.  Since that…
April 24, 2019
BlogMeet MenLiving

MenLiving Announces Not-For-Profit Status

MenLiving men’s group is excited to announce its new status as a not-for-profit organization!  The current group began February 2012 in Todd’s living room with a few others longing for authentic conversation and connection amongst men.  Since that 1st meeting…
April 12, 2019
BlogMasculinity

Response to the Gillette Commercial

There’s a been quite a bit of on-line dialogue in the last 24 hours regarding the new Gillette commercial “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be” If you haven’t seen it, please take a look here. It’s been viewed over…
January 15, 2019
BlogFamily

Don’t Give Your Wife A Break

Yesterday a friend of mine was looking for support regarding an argument he recently had with his wife. The story he shared was similar to experiences I’ve had with my wife. “I worked in the backyard and cleaned out the…
September 6, 2018
BlogMasculinity

White Male Privilege & Toxic Masculinity

“White male privilege” and “toxic masculinity” seems to be brought up now more than ever.  Many men I know take offense to these terms.  I don’t because I believe it’s true now and has been true for a very long…
July 1, 2018
BlogMasculinity

Wanted: White Men…

…to step into the mature masculine. I define this as the capacity to be both strong and gentle, competitive and compassionate and the wisdom to know which energy to call on at any particular moment. Some men have recently criticized…
October 12, 2017
BlogEmotional Vulnerability

Calling All Complacent White Straight Males

I am complacent when it comes to the tragedies that fill up my newsfeed - Charlottesville and North Korea, just to name a few. When I hear bad news, I pause for a moment and think to myself, “I’m scared”…
August 17, 2017
BlogMasculinity

Straight men showing PDA?

In this video, straight Dutch men are holding hands in public in response to the gay couple who were physically attacked for a public display of affection.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezPXzGtXhVc I find this powerful and moving, and I would love to see…
April 10, 2017
BlogFamily

Parental Amnesia

The following is a short list off the top of my head of some personal bad decision making from my adolescence. @ 5 years old I played “doctor” with a girl neighbor across the street engaging in a session of…
October 21, 2016
BlogFamily

Don’t Be A Dick

I struggle with the writing process. My mind works in the form of bullet points as opposed to long-form which is what prohibits me from saying what I want to say. But I feel I have ideas of value to…
October 19, 2016
BlogMasculinity

What is “Men’s Work?”

I have been doing a weekly podcast with my wife Cathy called Zen Parenting Radio for the last 6 years. The podcast is not so much about parenting, instead it’s mostly about self-awareness. Typically it’s simply the two of us…
September 9, 2016
BlogFamily

11 Mistakes Your Marriage Needs You to Stop Making

I’m 11 years into my marriage and I don’t pretend to be an expert. However, I know my foundation is solid and will endure the test of time. Mostly because when I screw up, I do my best to learn…
August 17, 2016
BlogFamily

Am I a Bad Dad? Am I a Bad Husband?

I have been in an on-line debate with a few close friends of mine regarding whether or not men have the nurturing gene the way women do.  I argue that I while I have the ability to do everything (less…
August 17, 2016
BlogLiving Intentionally

Silence Is Not Golden

I am a white straight male. I can wear a hoodie when I walk down the street. I feel safe because I live in an upper-middle class neighborhood.  I don’t get judged because of my skin color.  I don’t have…
July 22, 2016
BlogMasculinity

What Is Wrong And Right With This Video

I posted a 53 second video yesterday morning on my Facebook page. It is of a little boy (maybe 3 years old) stroking, protecting, and caressing his newborn brother. That’s it. Big deal, right? Well the video has been viewed…
January 5, 2016
BlogLearning

Cubs- All The Way?

Let’s get one thing straight- I am a White Sox fan.  But on the eve of this Wildcard playoff game between the Cubs and the Pirates, I am 100% rooting for the North-siders.  I have never subscribed to the idea…
October 7, 2015