One of the things I’m working harder at appreciating is the unpredictability of life. It seems every time I feel like I have a handle on life, how it works, and what it all means, I get thrown for a loop with some sort of unpredictable event. And whether I look at my own life, look at the life of others, or life in general, the same theme seems to arise; I really have no clue in terms of what is going to happen next. For me, this has always been difficult to accept. I like predictability. I like knowing what comes next. Sure, suspense can be fun, at times, when watching a movie or when it doesn’t involve me. But having little to no knowledge of what I’m going to experience or how I’m going to feel has always been a massive challenge for me. In my profession, I’m constantly expected to know what is happening next at all times. I’m an airline pilot, by trade, and my company expects me to know where I’m going, how I’ll get there, and what obstacles, such as weather, may impact me. And in fairness, we do a pretty good job at doing all of this. We have a plan, we execute the plan, and we get the plane and passengers to their destination safely 99% of the time, which a few occasional hiccups with weather and/or maintenance delays. So clearly my brain is trained to KNOW what is supposed to happen next.
Then there’s the matters of the heart. The unpredictability of how we feel. The unpredictability of having new people come into our lives, or even having people leave our lives. I’m a believer that God/The Universe has a master plan and I’m just along for the ride. My belief is that people come into and go out of our lives all the time; and all with a reason – maybe to bring us some joy, some temporary connection or support, or to teach us some lessons. Or finally, maybe to reach us how to love again. I think every person in my life is intentionally here FOR me. Like I said, sometimes people will stay in my life, and sometimes they won’t. And that’s ok! I used to struggle with the concept of people in my orbit leaving, for whatever reason. Since my divorce about five years ago, it has difficult for me to find true love. I don’t know all the reasons, but I do know that a big part of it is my own fear of opening my heart up again. That said, over the course of the last month, my heart has been opened again. I’m not saying I’m in love again or ready to get remarried, but someone has come into my life and shown me what my heart is capable of. It’s been exhilarating, especially in the context of how I met this person, the circumstances, and the outcome – all of it completely unexpected and unpredicted. Never would I have been able to predict how this all unfolded over the past month. I’ve put my analytical hat on and tried to analyze it. But I’m doing a better job of not doing that. I’m doing a better job of just accepting that life IS unpredictable, and that new people can come into my life and make me feel things I didn’t think I could feel. I’ve enjoyed it, and I also know that I don’t know what’s next. So instead of being in my head, trying to gameplan exactly what’s going to happen and how I’m going to feel going forward, I’m trying to enjoy the moment, enjoy the ride, and whenever or wherever it ends (or slows down, or whatever), accept those circumstances as well.
Life is unpredictable. Which is absolutely exhilarating.
About Jason
Hello Jason;
What a beautiful piece about uncertainty and impermanence! These are the two joyful life lessons I am also learning in this lifetime! I appreciate your thoughts.
Appreciate you my brother. nice job 🙂