by Mike Rosen
To those of you who celebrate Christmas, a Merry Christmas to you and the people in your life. To those who don’t observe Christmas, Happy Wednesday and Holidays to you and the people in your life!
Knee deep in the Holiday Season, I’m often thrust into social situations–company gatherings, family parties, neighborhood get-togethers. Most times alcohol is provided, involved, and directly encouraged to consume. Thanksgiving Eve sales of alcohol average 130% higher than a normal Wednesday. Liquor and beer sales in December see between a 25-30% rise in sales, respectively. It feels ever-present when I pause to look closely.
Recently someone asked me to describe my relationship with alcohol in 3 words. Always up for a challenge (“I can Name that Tune in ONE note!!!”) I distilled it to one. Yes, I know, that was intentional.
My word? Complicated.
I’d offer that we each have a narrative around alcohol. First memories if it was present at home, first experiences if there was one. Positive associations, perhaps negative ones too. It’s arguably very deeply woven into our social and societal fabric. The numbers below refer to the US.
- Past-Year Drinking: In 2023, 62.5% of people aged 12 and older (177.3 million people) reported drinking alcohol in the past year.
- Lifetime Drinking: 79.1% of people aged 12 and older (224.3 million people) have consumed alcohol at some point in their lives.
- Economic Costs: Alcohol misuse costs the United States an estimated $249 billion annually. 1
Until a while ago, I would have described my relationship with alcohol as’ healthy’. I was of the belief it could be and I’m reflecting and evolving my view. It was commonly accepted that a low volume of alcohol was ‘ok’ for one’s health. A few glasses of red wine (heart healthy, right? Tannins and stuff?) with dinner. Some beers and an Uber with the college football game. Last year Kelly and I committed to a Dry January, which we extended through Valentine’s Day. The outcomes? Regular, deep sleep. Less puffy. Clearer skin. Money saved. Weight lost. Hmmmm. Could there be something to this? We’re making the same commitment this year to Ctrl+Alt+Delete our habits.
So why is it complicated? I like having a few drinks. I like red wine with heartier fall and winter meals by our fire. I like refreshing, bubbly drinks in the summer. I like cracking a beer as I fire up my grill or watch a game. It’s nothing deep or profound. There are deep patterns and associations embedded; I simply like it. AND I know it’s not good for me. I’d describe it as willful ignorance but I’m fully and entirely aware that it’s harmful. To what extent? I have a familial history of alcoholism and I’m pretty sure I don’t abuse it nor use it as a method to manage stress. I don’t know, this is where it gets complicated to me.
I weigh the same as I did as a 21-yr old. I get full lab tests every year and EVERY result and indicator is in the normal/healthy range. I run, I row, I ride, I lift, I practice yoga, I meditate. AND I know alcohol is harmful. Maybe it isn’t so complicated? Maybe the degree and extent to which I consume it IS ok? Does it HAVE to be all or nothing or can I be super medium?
What are your 1-3 words describing your relationship with alcohol? How has that relationship evolved? Is that relationship improving or declining or are you perfectly content as is? I’m curious about your experience, what you think about my word, and how you feel about yours. Please share your word(s) and thoughts in the comments below and Safe and Happy Holidays to you!
Mike Rosen
Mike previously worked in a variety of roles in finance, business development, and project management. Unhappy, he changed careers and became a teacher in 2012.
Biography
love this mike! I would say “complicated” rings true for me too – this year is my first sober holiday season since late adolescence. Hell, I would get small shots of peppermint alcohol at Christmas given to me as a child! It’s been a long journey but I’m grateful to be here, “clear and connected”.
The word “ongoing” came to mind as as a response to your question. Despite not drinking I think about it everyday. And while everyday has not been easy, every day I feel a bit more free.
Cheers Mike!
Good post Mike. I’m a pretty heavy drinker since college (Wisconsin guy after all) but at age 66 have remained pretty fit and generally healthy. Never had any legal problems, drunk driving etc, but my wife is often on my back about it. Did a dry January and February last year and found I didn’t really miss alcohol that much. I discovered all of the good NA beers out there. Weed is another issue entirely. Have been a daily user again since college with some long stretches off it. I will say that after getting high the urge to drink falls to near zero. Biggest challenge for me is “beating myself up” about substance use. Overall I’m a great guy and devoted family man who happens to enjoy a good buzz. Merry Christmas to all!
Great piece, Rosen. Very well said. Your post has inspired me to go dry in January (never done that) and see the effects. I drink socially but not much else on my own. I enjoy it in many of the same ways you do. That said, I’m looking forward to my January challenge. Happy holidays to you and your family, Mr. Rosen.
About 6 years ago I decided to remove the complexity of alcohol from my existence and gave it up. When I turned 18 it was the legal age for drinking & in hindsight the worst time to be free to imbibe whenever I wanted…and did. It now perplexes me that alcohol has to be present and expected at every social gathering. Friends felt uncomfortable when I said no thanks when offered and one even suggested I wouldn’t be fun anymore??!! I don’t suggest abstaining to anyone, it’s legal and what someone else does to their body or health is theirs to decide. However the growing body of evidence more than suggest the range of health perils including cancers, heart disease and organ failures but not unlike the lies of big tobacco there’s not only industry denial at stake there’s money and jobs. On the other side of the balance sheet is the rising, unaffordable costs of healthcare treatments that are completely unavoidable. Now when I consider all those hangovers, interruptions of sleep and the dumb behaviors overindulgence brought with booze I kick myself for not being smarter. On a practical note it’s interesting to realize how much money was spent in a given year on a mind-altering liquid and realizing where those dollars could have gone instead to what I now enjoy much more. Yes it’s complicated but it doesn’t have to be. Happy New Year. Bob
Echoing the sentiment shared already… great piece. As always, I love and appreciate your grounded life view and admire you on every level, Mike. My few words: 1,619 days, ODAAT!
Thanks for writing this, Mike. My word is “skeptical.” I really ponder if alcohol harms our country more than people think. I haven’t had a drink in 3.5 years… not because it isn’t fun, but because as the years went on, my mental health the day after drinking got worse and worse and it was affecting my parenting. Even after only drinking 2 glasses of wine, I could tell the difference. I don’t miss it at all, to be honest. Take care all
Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to share. I love reading all your varied experiences and responses. It’s interesting the range of relationships. More and more I’m reading how men are reaching a point where they recognize alcohol doesn’t serve them in any way any longer and simply being done. I have a race at the end of March so Kelly and I are going dry until then. I’m curious how that evolves my relationship, perhaps I’ll schedule a follow-up post for June out of curiosity and to check in on anyone who is evolving their view. Hmm, maybe there’s a Small Batch/Accountability group in the works around this?
Craig Dooley–keep up the amazing work, proud of you brother!
Peace to you all and a safe and (for some Sober!) Happy New Year!