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by Christopher MacLellan

Just the other day, I asked a lifelong friend of mine…”So Jim, how are you AgingGayfully™?” Puzzled, he looked at me in amazement and said…”What do you mean, I’m not gay!” “Goodness,” I replied, “I didn’t ask you what your sexual orientation is; that would be rude, I’m asking you…’how are YOU AgingGayfully™?’

Then the lightbulb went off in his head…” Got It!” as he chuckled loudly.

This conversation reminded me of one of my philosophy professors in the seminary years ago who challenged the class to come up with two contradictory words joined together to make sense. A robust discussion ensued between the class and professor, with two responses that have stuck with me for years…” Clean Dirt” and “Jumbo Shrimp.”

I never thought of dirt being clean because, as a kid, whenever I came home with dirt on my clothes, my mom would yell at me for being dirty.  “Why are you playing in the dirt…now you and your clothes are dirty,” she would yell.  I guess I was conditioned to believe dirt was, well, dirty?

How can something shrimp be, well… jumbo?

If you put the two words together, it makes sense because we’ve all seen jumbo shrimp.  Yet what about your friend in grade school who was called “shrimp” because he was the shortest in the class? Not all shrimp are small, I guess!

I think you get where I’m going here!

As I was conditioned to believe dirt was dirty (well, it really is), I believe we’ve been conditioned to think negatively about the words aging and gayfully.

When I was a kid, it was easy to say, “I don’t want to be around that old (aging) fart”…now I am the old fart, and I love being the “old fart” because I’ve embraced AgingGayfully™.

Of course, the words gay and gayfully drum up many different connotations in today’s society, but what did the word “gay” mean in the ’40s, ’50s, ’60s, etc.…fun, happiness, joyful as defined by Webster?  Heck, The Flintstones have been living a “gay old time” for years (you can’t deny you’re hearing The Flintstones theme song in the back of your head now).

Sure, the term “AgingGayfully™” has a double meaning:

  • For LGBTQ+ individuals: AgingGayfully™ refers to the unique challenges and triumphs of aging within the LGBTQ+ community, often including themes of resilience, self-acceptance, and creating chosen families.
  • For Everyone: AgingGayfully™ embraces a joyful, fulfilling approach to aging regardless of sexual orientation. It’s about living authentically, pursuing passions, and finding happiness in later life.

No, you don’t have to be gay to age, gayfully!  Whether you’re gay, straight, or anywhere in between, you can embrace the spirit of AgingGayfully™.

AgingGayfully™ is about setting sail to new horizons and living the best life in your later years, full of joy, purpose, and connection.

AgingGayfully™ is about living with dignity in an age-friendly society regardless of orientation or economic status because longevity is a justice issue.

It’s too bad I didn’t think of AgingGayfully™ in the seminary, as that would have been a lively class discussion.  Oh, how I miss those robust conversations in philosophy class.

By the way…How are you, AgingGayfully™?

Meet Christopher MacLellan

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