By Dr Bill Chaney
Becoming an Elder
In discussing our favorite authors with a good friend in MenLiving, I told him that I especially like J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. Perhaps you also enjoy reading some of the books or viewing films based on this work and share my enthusiasm?
So deep is my love of this amazing tale that when I visited New Zealand I took time to visit some of the locations where this saga was filmed. For example, just outside of Wellington, NZ, I hunkered down in the exact earthen gully where (in the film) Frodo and his Hobbit companions escaped from the Black Riders. I also visited WETA, the production company that crafted the incredible makeup for the Orcs and other creatures featured in the film. In the WETA lobby I found myself staring up at a scary, imposing 7-foot Orc replica. In Matamata, NZ, I stood just inside Bilbo’s round door in “Hobbiton” –a set preserved from the movie which now welcomes thousands of Tolkien fans each year.
In the conversation with my friend mentioned earlier, I told him that my most memorable character in the Rings saga is Gandalf… an ancient wizard who provides encouragement, guidance, insight, protection, and wisdom to his young Hobbit companions as they face dark dangers together when struggling to reach Mount Doom.
Why Gandalf? Perhaps I strongly identify with him, because I recently reached a (ripe? old?) age several months ago. At 78, I think I am arguably one of the eldest members of our growing MenLiving organization.
Perhaps I also identify with Gandalf because of the deep relationship he had with his young followers—a relationship that I would describe as an “Elder”. Elders are older men who because of their experiences, successes and failures, often become a transforming presence in the lives of their friends. This presence is a warm, and often challenging influence that “calls forth” growth—helping younger men to discover their strengths, gifts, identity, life passion and often and who they might eventually become in their own lives.
During my lifelong career as professor and counselor, I have had the distinct pleasure of being an “Elder” –a transforming presence –in the lives of literally hundreds of young men and women. More than being an information dispenser, I developed personal ties with many of these students. In this nurturing and challenging interpersonal environment, both inside and outside the classroom, I helped youngsters to recognize their gifts and strengths, allowing them to visualize possibilities for their futures. Then, as now, one of my greatest joys in life is to recognize, bless, and “call forth” the gifts, strengths, and abilities of younger people.
Perhaps you also exhibit “Elder” characteristics or deeply desire to embody a transforming presence for others. If so, you may be interested in upcoming MenLiving opportunities to sharpen your elder traits and skills! If so, I “call forth” your gifts and abilities to encourage men who walk with us in MenLiving.
Here’s to your potential future eldership!
