Slow Down, Slow the Fuck Down

by Chris Willett

I’m getting out the soapbox so I can do a little preaching…

So often, I want to yell at somebody, “Slow down!” And I’m not talking about getting cut off in traffic; I’m talking about slowing the fuck down. There are times I send someone a text, and before I can even hit the send button, they are already responding to me. My reaction is like, “What the fuck? Slow down and read the fucking text!” Inhale, exhale, relax—get back to me in 10 or 20 minutes, maybe tomorrow, or never; I don’t care.

The idea that everything needs to be done now is frustrating for me. Yes, I understand most people can process information 50 to 100 times faster than me; however, it is difficult for me to live in a society where everything needs to be done at lightning speed and values multitasking more than being in the present moment. I know this is part of my belief system, and I understand others believe that you can never do too much at once and that faster is always better.

As for slowing down, I’m as guilty as anyone. For example, when Carla asks me what I want for dinner, and as soon as she finishes the word “dinner,” my answer might be, “I don’t care, make it easy for yourself. You do most of the cooking, so you make the decision.”

The problem with this answer is:

1. I didn’t listen to her question.

2. I didn’t answer the question she asked.

When I slow down, my response might go like this: First, I hear what the question is. Second, I do not blurt out the first thought that occurs to me (“make it easy for you”). By slowing down for a couple more seconds, I can start to figure out how to answer the question thoughtfully. My thought process might go something like this: We had burgers last night and chicken the night before, so I don’t want either of them. There are leftovers to be eaten. Staying with the question a little bit longer, I have a chance to tune into what I actually want for dinner—perhaps a stir-fry or maybe a piece of fish.

Now I can respond to her by saying, “I wouldn’t mind either a stir-fry or some fish. However, there are leftovers to be eaten, which I wouldn’t mind having.” I have now answered her question. This is not a request to get exactly what I want. It’s just a way of letting her know my preferences. I also feel that it helps relieve her of the stress of deciding what to make for dinner, with the added option of telling me what she would like instead. Perhaps she might even like me to make dinner.

This is just one tiny example of where I get frustrated when I’m with people who are moving at the speed of light, multitasking, or thinking about what’s next. The quote by Ram Dass, *Be Here Now*, often comes to mind. There are times I just want to grab someone, give them a big bear hug, and say, “It’s all right, relax, it’s fine, it will get done, the answer will be revealed—just slow the fuck down so you can actually give yourself room to breathe and feel what you truly want.”

Thanks for letting me vent. I’m going to get off the soapbox now, and crawl under the covers.

It’s hard living in a sane world when you’re a complete lunatic.