by Yitz Miller
I am touched and honored by the invitation to shepherd MenLiving’s Fatherhood initiative, to co-facilitate the first month of meetings (Thursdays, noon Central Time starting March 6) with ML Executive Directorion Todd Adams and ML Facilitation Lead Jim Herbert. I also enthusiastically accept ML Development Lead Shaun Emerson’s challenge to “differentiate” MenLiving’s Fatherhood offerings from “Just another Dad’s circle.”
My personal “Dad” journey—so far—includes 5 years of infertility treatments before Jacob (now 20) was born, the purely financial choice not to have further children due to IVF cost, a divorce when Jacob was 8 that centered around my then-wife’s belief that she “was not cut out to be a mother,” raising Jacob myself since (with 3.5 years of abusive step-mother tossed in the mix), supporting Jacob in his choice of and first two years at university, and navigating the currently-exploratory transition of Jacob trying out life as Mariella.
My WickedAwesomeMan Counseling practice is anchored in my fascination with limbic (habit-driven) psychology and “mentoring the mature masculine,” which certainly stems from my own journey navigating my own masculinity as an ardent feminist.
However, the NAME of my practice (along with its subsidiaries WickedAwesomeHusband, WickedAwesomeBoyfriend, and WickedAwesomeDad) derives from Jacob getting tickets & a T-shirt to Fenway for “Father’s Day Age 18″…our first year in Boston.
One intentional Fatherhood differentiation is the choice to focus on every possible connection to Fatherhood—even beyond just “Dadhood”: “Single, married, and divorced dads; long-time, first-time, expectant and hoping-to-be dads; gay dads and straight dads; solo-parent, adoptive, custody-challenged, and step-dads; even chose-not-to-be dads. The only prerequisite is a desire to deepen your connection to Fatherhood.”
For example, my Fatherhood journey starts long before my Dad journey, and includes freeing myself from a poor relationship with my now-deceased father, who never healed or addressed the reality that his own father committed suicide while he was still in-utero.
As to Shaun’s challenge, it shouldn’t go overlooked in the “differentiation” question that Todd is not only the founder of MenLiving, but also the co-founder of 10-year-running Zen Parenting Radio, and that Jim launched the Spiritual Fatherhood Podcast.
In addition, I’m excited that Christopher MacLellan—ML member and founder of the Whole Care Network—gave a “hell yes!” to the invitation to explore another “differentiating factor”–the Caregiving aspects of Fatherhood, and to bring his “non-biological fatherhood” experience as “The Favorite Uncle” of 25 nieces and nephews, and 40 great-nieces and nephews
I also hope my experience, training and fascination with mature masculinity will also differentiate our Fatherhood offerings, as I personally invite the question: “What does it mean to embrace masculinity not only as a romantic partner, but as a father?”
I posit that—ultimately, the success of this endeavor need not be judged on differentiation. Though I’m sure there will be many…if there is even one father who is able to “connect, heal, and thrive,” thus expanding the world of “healthy, intentional, connected” fathers…this endeavor would be world-transforming success.
See you on Thursdays!
With love, and the relentless quest to catalyze more of it,
Yitz
YJMiller@YJMiller.com
www.RabbiYitzhakMiller.org
Yitz Miller joined the MenLiving community in the fall of 2024 and quickly became a regular in weekly Full House meetings, The Elders program and the Winter 2024 Facilitator training cohort. Yitz brings extensive leadership experience to the MenLiving team. Yitz transitioned from an earlier career in hybrid vehicle technology to spirituality and law. In his life journey Yitz has served as a congregational Rabbi and has initiated a case to the U.S. Supreme Court and presently runs WickedAwesomeMan Counseling.
