By Dan Gathof
After what seems like an eternity, you’ve finally landed the meeting. The hours spent rehearsing your pitch, anticipating every possible question, and crafting responses designed to impress have all led to this moment. The night before, you toss and turn, adrenaline and nerves colliding as you visualize success. This meeting could change everything. Scratch that—you’re confident it will change everything.
The day arrives. You sit across from the company executive, heart pounding, ready to shine. But then it happens: a polite smile, a glance at their phone, a distant look in their eyes. The energy shifts. And with a sinking feeling, you realize—they don’t want to be there. Your excitement deflates in an instant.
Just like that, the meeting you’ve built up in your mind becomes a test, not of your preparation, but of your ability to salvage something meaningful when you sense you’re the only one engaged.
You’ve seen this movie before, and it always seems to end the same way. A bland exchange of questions and answers, a remark that your paranoid self interprets as the reason they’ll reject you, and a polite but non-committal wrap-up. Days later, you know you’ll receive the inevitable “We enjoyed the conversation, but we’re going in a different direction.”
The moment you sense the executive’s apathy, you’re at a crossroads. Do you continue on autopilot, pretending not to notice? Do you call it out and ask if they’re distracted? Should you ramp up your energy to compensate for their lack of interest? Or take the risk of completely changing the conversation?
It’s tricky. You often don’t know the individual or their style, let alone what anxieties or distractions they’re carrying. Maybe they have a sick child today, or maybe they were forced to attend this meeting and couldn’t care less about the outcome. Oof. And here you are, with seconds to assess the situation and pivot. It feels unfair, considering how much you’ve invested in this moment—but there’s no time to lament. It’s go-time.
I had such a meeting last week.
Hours of research on the company, hours of preparation for likely objections, and extensive thinking about how to market the company and their open roles. Within two minutes of meeting the executive, he expressed his disappointment with recruiters and their salesy schtick as well as lamented the lack of hiring results using external firms. He made it clear he was only speaking with me as a favor to someone more senior.
In a matter of just a few minutes, his words, body language and tone revealed it all: this conversation was doomed.
I paused, gathered my thoughts, and made my pivot. In the next three minutes, I said something along the following lines: “I’m also disappointed with the state of recruiting—it’s become too transactional and unfocused on finding great long-term fits for both sides. I may not be the right fit for your company. My approach is customized and creative, and it only works for select businesses. If I’m not a viable option for you, I’m happy to use the rest of our time to brainstorm strategies for your recruiting challenges.”
Five minutes in, and we were at a critical point. I was ready to either help him think through other options or dive into my track record of success. Either way, I gave him a reason to engage.
The disinterested executive suddenly became involved. Maybe it was my tone, maybe my shared disappointment in the industry, or maybe he respected my direct approach. Whatever it was, the conversation shifted, and we had a productive exchange.
In my example, I pivoted by immediately making the conversation about the executive and not about me. But there are other ways to spark a shift in dynamics:
- Engage with a Story: A compelling anecdote can shift energy and create a memorable emotional connection.
- Use Body Language: Lean in, make strong eye contact, and use expressive gestures to show enthusiasm and draw them in.
- Personalize the Discussion: Reference specific challenges or needs relevant to them. Show you’ve done your homework.
- Acknowledge the Disengagement: If the disinterest is palpable, you might say, “It seems like we’re not hitting the mark. Is there something you’d like to focus on?”
- Ask Thought-Provoking Questions: Open-ended questions about their challenges or goals can reignite their interest.
- Keep It Concise: Time is precious. Avoid lengthy explanations and focus on high-impact points to keep them engaged.
Whatever tactic you choose, be bold enough to shift the interaction. You’ve earned the right to be there, and you deserve an engaged conversation. After the first two minutes in my meeting, I could have done the standard thing and just explained my process, features and benefits. But I knew the end of that story and it didn’t look like a happily-ever-after for me.
Hire Thought:
Engagement is a two-way street. Whether you’re in an interview or a sales meeting, it’s not just about impressing the other party—it’s about knowing when and how to pivot to meet their energy. When faced with disinterest, don’t retreat. Shift gears, personalize, and create an opportunity for genuine engagement. Sometimes, it’s not just what you say, but how you adapt that makes the difference.
