Being human is a gift, but all too often is a painful and lonely one. Unresolved pain is trauma of spirit and flesh. Chronic suffering emboldens the lure of addictive and numbing aspects of social media, violence, greed, porn, sugar, alcohol, institutionalized opioids, and the deadly fentanyl. Some say we have lost control of our own narrative, tossed away ancient rituals that grounded our humanity, and worship artificial gods of convenience and false joy. How we got here is complex, but clues can be found in everyone’s story.
For too many decades I lost sight of my core values, as if I was entranced. I no longer went ‘within’. My inner child was silenced. My shadows grew. My fears were mirrored. My barriers thickened, And my soul yearned to be seen. I desperately wanted to find a Road to Truth and feel the primal, authentic gift of innocence again. Over the years, the thoughts, the urges, the sorrows, and ceaseless wonder gave me no choice. I had to explore… so I humbly looked behind the veil.
In the past two years, I have experienced more Truth than I have in all of my adult years.
‘Entheogen’ is derived from the Greek and literally means creating the divine within. The heart opening ‘empathogen’ means creating a state of empathy The term ‘Entactogen’ means ‘touching within’ and is a synonym to empathogen. Semantics aside it is the experience and integration that matters.
A global renaissance of heart opening empathy and internal divine healing is underway. Mental health efficacy parameters will be redefined and the use of once forbidden plants and amphibians (or their equivalent synthetics) will soon be mainstream.
While my intention, research, and outreach guided me, I realized quickly that everyone has their own journey and that the same substance and dose can have dramatically different results for each soul.
Entheogenic and empathogenic substances at their essence, are NOT addictive or escapist but the exact opposite. So, the term ‘drug’ or similiar disparaging labels do not apply. Of course, the potential for misuse exists as it does for any tool. And in the news world…. if it bleeds it leads. So fear and misdirection will try to retain the veil, however, Truth shines bright.
Many sacraments are purgative and help you to face your shadows. It is work and often messy, however, between the layers there is glory and grace to be found. When I saw the wisdom of the amazing souls who have respected the path, I knew to trust my instinct.
My experience has restored my desire to be human, to create heaven on earth, until this illusion of flesh is over. It has lifted me up like nothing else has. The sacraments and integration continue to reveal that Love can vibrate every cell. That darkness can be understood and is needed to know light. It permits me to embrace the pain of being human, transform that trauma, commune with my Tribe, seek balance and stillness. I believe that Nature, Divinity, and Ego are separate but One. They can coincide and thrive if each of us desires so. It has deepened my respect for the Mystery.
The Divine Dance of the sacred plants and amphibians has changed me. I am grateful for their gift and the Spirit Family I have met. Healing takes work and is not for the faint of heart. Vulnerability is required. Purging of bodily fluids is to be expected. Deep primal energy and blueprints can be reframed. Vices and habits are challenged. Change is inevitable. I was ready.
My research and wonder superseded my sceptic mind, and guided me to trust an amphibian sacrament. Poison surged from cell to cell. My face became swollen like never before. Hours of purging ached my muscles, but I knew this was healing and it was what I paid for. I let the process unfold with no expectations. As time passed, I realized the casual yet daily desire for alcohol seems to have left with the dumping of that purge bucket eleven months ago. My liver is happier now. This process activated my body’s innate protective response. It just needed permission and a trigger. This is healing.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change, and adapt as a result of experience. It was another rough purgative weekend, but the chaotic shamanic chants were choreographed seamlessly with the entheogens as it has been for thousands of years. Integrating the gift of this and other sacraments has allowed me to feel the expansion I yearned for. Stimulation of my neural networks has allowed me to feel pleasure and deep appreciation specifically for music and mantra which I know none of the words, whether it be Sanskrit, Portuguese, or sacred icaros. It frees me from the burden of knowing and helps my soul feel. It revitalizes the mystery and gives me peace from mind and the constant analysis and perfectionism that stemmed from my wounded inner child. This is healing.
Somatic release of childhood trauma was stimulated multiple times by therapy assisted empathogens. The unresolved pain stored in my tissues, muscles, and cells had permission to dance. Similar to ecstatic dance there was no choreography just energy, waves, and flow. It was glorious and the tension release brought pleasure and a sense of lightness. I was amazed as my mind and ego waited for hours, for my body to finish. That long-held energy was a memory inside my body, and I transformed it as sweat on the tent floor. After multiple day-long releases, my soul occasionally yearns for more, which are now only a few minutes to an hour long. It reminds me that some animals use such micro-releases many times daily to help balance their sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Now that this stuck energy is not as thick or buried, it can once again flow on a smaller scale, on my terms, initiated by frequenciesfrom emotions, sound bowls, or mantras. When the energy flows it reminds me that I am Divine energy in a human form. This is healing.
The ancient rituals of cacao and hapeh help ground me on a regular basis. When my schedule and neurotransmitters allow, I return to the more intense sacraments to continue my expansion, transformation, and journey. Intention was a main unifying agent to embody the healing and integrate its lessons. I constantly review the power of set, setting, and sitter as safety is a high priority for me while my transformation moves forward.
My soul is feeling its core values. I become centered quicker and more often. My inner child is calmer. I breath deeper. I feel intimacy. I care about my new Tribe. Thankfully, this is just the beginning of the new me.
My work, resources, vulnerability, and persistence are creating space for the vibration of Love. It is not a linear path, and it has no end. That is the beauty of Divine Medicine.
I see myself, with you, on the Road to Eleusis like every soul who searches for The Immortality Key. The ancient Greeks saw the light. Their secret rituals literally held society together. Their wisdom still can guide us if we embrace the challenge.
If you die before you die,
You won’t die when you die.